


Miracle Baby

by 1d_larryshipper



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Character Death, Cheating, Children, Established Relationship, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Implied Relationships, M/M, Mpreg, Temporary Character Death, future!fic, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1d_larryshipper/pseuds/1d_larryshipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been four years since One Direction has ended, but Larry Stylinson is supposedly still going strong. Harry and Louis are married with three kids, and everything seems perfect until rumors with Harry get out of hand, and the boys begin to fall apart. Now, split apart and trying to manage, the two boys attempt to raise Darcy, Patrick, and Preston by splitting their time between both dads whenever Harry is home from touring. Louis has found Jeff, a marathon runner and CEO for a writing company, who helps him so much more than Harry did but their relationship lacks the passion that he and Harry shared. Harry has found temporary people to fill the void, but he misses coming home to a bed of kids and Louis. So then Preston gets sick, and it's just a cold but he suffers from severe asthma. What happens when a week with Harry sends Preston into the hospital, fighting for his life?</p>
<p>AKA tl;dr/I'm not good at summaries: Harry and Louis break-up but have kids, Louis gets a new guy, one kid has really bad asthma, he is sick with a cold, goes to spend a week with Harry, has an asthma attack and then bad stuff starts to happen. Sad beginning/middle but happy endings. YAY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So hi! I came up with this idea way back in December and typed out the general idea of what I wanted to happen with it. I started writing the prologue in my psychology class but I've been reluctant to post because, 1. I don't feel as if I'm a good enough writer, 2. I could NOT think of a disease for Preston (the sick child) to have that wasn't typically a terminal illness, and 3. I'm really lazy and while I had hand written this, I didn't want to type it up! Anyways, I'm really hoping that this story is okay so please leave any comments (mean, constructive, nice, anything!) and hopefully some kudos on it. I'll really try to get the next chapter rolling so the action starts happening! Hope you enjoy it :)

_A hard beginning maketh a good ending._

**JOHN HEYWOOD, Proverbs**

**Chapter One: Prologue-**

_“Trouble in paradise? Power couple, formally dubbed ‘Larry Stylinson’ from their One Direction years have been rumored to splitting apart due to heartthrob Harry Styles playboy actions all across this weeks magazines. Rumors of Styles appeared while on his two-week promo trip with new band Breathe Easy, photos appearing of him exiting clubs with other men and women. A source fills us in that, “Louis cannot handle Harry mucking around while he’s home with all the kids, hardly receiving any help from the other boy. Harry is selfish, immature, and a downright slut.” Wow! Could this be the end of paradise for good? Our sources are saying ye-“_ Louis clicks the television off and leans further into the couch, dabbing his eyes with the used tissue he had bunched in his hand during the entertainment announcement. He winces as he hears another thump as Harry throws more of his suitcases down the stairs to load up into the Escalade running in the drive.

 

Louis knew the story was crap, that Harry loved him very much and all the news hurting him just as much as it had Louis, but; the fighting accompanied with the rock star lifestyle was taking it’s toll on Louis. After three kids, and four years of One Direction’s split, Harry’s constant touring and inability to be there was beginning to become more and more noticeable for the children, and for Louis himself. Not to mention that four-year-old Darcy was starting to notice all the dodgy photos of Harry appearing in the check-out line in Tescos and Louis was starting to notice that he no longer had a clue who Harry was.

 

He would also be lying to himself if he hadn’t questioned whether his husband was fully faithful while away. The rumors had been getting out of hand recently, and the fighting over them had started carrying off while Harry is away instead of resolving within a few hours. It was always the same thing: Louis wants the partying to stop and to know who the random people Harry was papped stumbling out of bars with at 2AM while out, and Harry just wants Louis to trust him. Their latest, and final, fight had taken place exactly three nights ago:

 

* * *

 

_Harry had been gone for a week long promo for his bands latest CD and had been spotted coming out of a bar hand-in-hand with none other than Nick Grimshaw. He had smashed Louis worries immediately with a kiss  when he got home and presents for the kids, complete with a special dinner followed by bringing the kids to his mums’ in Holmes Chapel for the weekend so just the two of them could spend time together before he was whisked away again for a year long tour._

_His first night of the two of them together, had began with Harry cooking dinner while Louis settled in the living room watching a movie and drinking a glass of red wine Harry had imported from France. Harry had stepped in while the chicken was in the oven, and insisted that the pasta they had was not the one he wanted to use for dinner, and he would be back from the story in less than an hour._

_Less than an hour had turned into exactly an hour, and then two, then eight, and dinner was cold and the TV menu for the DVD Louis had popped in had played so many times that the chord was ripped out of the wall and the screen emitting a low hum, as it stared out into the empty living room blankly._

_Louis had cleaned the dinner up, served himself a piece of chicken only managing to eat a few bites before he tossed the rest in the trash. The dishes had been washed twice, put away, and reorganized, the living room and kitchen tidied, and Harry’s cell phone had been called exactly twenty-six times, with fourteen  voicemails, and 6 text messages to none of which were returned. Eventually, the bottle of wine was finished and then smashed into the wall, broken glass spraying across the marble counter tops, and tiled flooring, picked up and only then had Louis had dragged himself up to the master bedroom, closing the kids doors so not to remind himself of how he alone he truly was._

_Approximately three-thirty in the morning, Harry had stumbled into their room, piss drunk and flying off of the suspicious sniffing he was doing as he climbed into bed murming, “Louis,” and attempting to reach for Louis shoulder. Louis had started up then, hissing at the contact and smacking Harry’s hands away._

_“Don’t you fucking touch_ _me._ _” He had insisted, and sat up eyes ablaze trying to ignore how Harry’s own were so dilated he could hardly see the soft green around the edges._

_“Baby, sorry about earlier. I got a call from Phil to come help him with some stuff and my phone died, so I couldn’t let you know. I wouldn’t do that normally…let’s just do something tomorrow to make up. Just us two, like I promised.” Harry’s heart was skittering in his chest and his words were slurred yet as he fumbled across the bed for Louis._

_“I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you anymore. You do this all the time, Harry. I can’t do this. I can’t deal with this. You’re a lying, cheating, bastard and I can’t trust you anymore. How could you leave me on our first night back together? It’s been a week since you’ve seen me, since you’ve seen the kids and you’ve just left.” And Louis is crying, honest tears and he hasn’t cried this hard since the day they performed their last concert as a band, and he and Harry had held hands on stage for their final bow. Instead of the comforting smile he had received back then, Harry’s face drew in cold and he let his eyes roll with a sneer._

_“Whatever, Lou. Just shut up and stop fucking crying. You’re being such a faggot.” And the room had gone silent._

_“Get out.” Louis had whispered his voice ice, as Harry stepped out of the bed. “Get the fuck out, and don’t you dare come back here.” And Harry was out the door before Louis could even finish his sentence._

The next day Louis inbox had flooded with messages, begging him to let Harry over so they could talk. Louis had called Harry’s mum and informed that they were, “Going through a tough time and would she be okay to have the kids for just another few days so they could fix it?” And then promptly turned his phone off and crawled into bed. Finally, on day three, Louis had had enough of wallowing, and knew that he had to get himself, his _relationship¸_ sorted before Harry left again, and possibly this time for good.

 

He got up and showered, changed the sheets and did a few loads of laundry, before straightening up the rest of the house and then finally turning his phone on and quickly deleting all the messages and voicemails from Harry, before sending a simple, “Come home. We need to talk.” And then sits at the kitchen table, mug in hand, waiting for Harry to come in.

 

After only a few minutes of waiting he could hear the heavy footsteps in the hall, signaling Harry’s arrival back home. Arms snake around his middle; kisses are pressed to the side of his face, and Louis’ body tenses immediately. Harry tries to ignore the tears he feel drip onto his cheek, and turns Louis towards him; grasping his chin and pressing a desperate kiss to unresponsive lips, sighing and pulling back to settle in the chair across from his husband. Harry knocks their knees together, and then locks his own hands under his chin and rests his head heavily, staring at Louis helplessly. “Talk to me, please.” He begs, voice wavering. The silence stretches as the clock ticks mercilessly as Louis opens and closes his mouth repeatedly trying to begin a sentence but not knowing how to start.

 

Finally, “Harry…” And Louis’ voice is so quiet it has hard to tell if he has said anything at all but Harry is quick to respond back with eagerness,

 

“Yes love?” And Louis finally lifts himself from his slumped over position and pulls their knees apart, setting his mug on the table.

 

Heart in his throat he continues, “Harry, I love you.” But while his face his stone, he is staring into Harry’s eyes and they are both shining.

 

“Me too. I love you too, I mean.” Harry starts immediately, “Baby, I’m so sorry…I can’t-“  He cuts himself off, choking back tears, voice thick when he continues, “I don’t…I don’t remember what I said to you. But, I went back to Nicks’ and I guess I told him and he says it was bad. He won’t tell me what I said, because he thinks I need to ask you, but he says that I hurt you. That I hurt you so badly, and I wouldn’t do that if I hadn’t gone out. I would _never_ say anything to intentionally hurt you. You know that I couldn’t do th-“

 

“You called me a faggot.” Louis voice is like gravel and the roughness of it causes Harry to fall back as if he had been slapped, face gaping at the words. “You and I were fighting, and I started to cry and you told me to stop being such a faggot.” Then Louis is biting his lip and swallowing copper, eyes burning so hot he feels blinded.

"Babe..." Harry's voice is wrecked, "Lou, Louis, sweetheart..." And Harry scrambles forward to grab Louis face and attempt to press kisses to it, falling back when Louis scoots away. "Love...I wouldn't. I don't...I am  _so sorry."_ Louis shakily nods.

"I know...I know you are, but Harry, I’ve been thinking a lot about us since you said it.” Harry nods feebly “I just don’t think we’re, or you, I don’t think that you know what you want.”

 "You, Louis, I want you." Harry's response is immediate but it causes Louis to pause and rest his forehead against his palms, only to then scrub them down his face a few times for good measure. 

“Harry, I know you think you do but we had Darcy right as One Direction was ending, and we rushed to get married…I love you, and I know deep down you love me too but Breathe Easy is really making a splash and as much as I love you, I don’t know that I can trust you anymore. All those pictures, Haz. I’m stuck here raising three kids and you’re living your dream still. I think it’s time you figure out what you really want.” Harry is silent, eyes downcast, as he processes Louis’ words.

 

“You’re making me choose,” He says finally and his eyes flare angrily as he looks up, “You want me to decide between you, my kids, _my life,_ and Breathe Easy.” And Louis shakes his head sadly.

 

“Harry it isn’t about making a choice. It’s about responsibility.” And then he rises from his chair, voice escalating with each word, “It’s about thinking of me. Of your kids. When we go to Tescos, I have to explain to Darcy why her daddy is holding another mans’ hand. I have to put them to bed every night and promise daddy will be in tomorrow to kiss them goodnight because he had a very important meeting when really you’re just off getting shithoused in another bar with more random men, only to end up getting papped and splashed all over another cover of some idiot magazine. I don’t know what to think anymore, Harry. If I’m enough, if we’re enough, then why would you feel the need to do that?”

 

“Because I’m young Louis. I’m living my life, I want to have fun. I want to have everything. I want this life with you and the kids, but I also like having the band and the parties. If I remember correctly, you used to like that too.”

 

“Before I had to grow up Harry!” And Louis slams his fist on the table, “I got pregnant and I had to become an adult. I’m trying to make sure that Darcy, Preston, and Patrick grow up as normally and as healthy as possible, which means that I can’t do any of that. I would think that you would have the same respect.”

 

“Of course I have that respect, what do you even take me for? I love our children and I want them to be happy. But it’s always been like this Lou, for as long as Darcy can remember. I have always gone off on touring. It’s how I make sure that they can live luxuriously and happily. I have to make money somehow. And if I take the perks that come with that, sue me! I am happy where I’m at. Why can’t you see that?”

 

“Harry, I’m very happy for you. I’m glad that you love this band and you’re enjoying yourself…I just want you home. I want you here. I want you a part of their lives. I don’t want to see you on a cover with some guy you couldn’t even tell me the name of. How do you think it makes me feel?” And Harry falls silent, the clocks ticking softer now than it was before.

 

“I’m sorry.” He at last says, “I wish it wasn’t like this.”

 

“Me too.” Louis murmers softly, “But Haz…maybe…I think. Maybe we need a break. Maybe you need to get all this out. Go out and party, travel the world, meet new people. You’ve been with me since you were sixteen. That’s ten years of your life that you’ve only had one person. You’re the type that needs to have more.”

 

“Are you trying to divorce me?” And Harry’s eyes are welled up with tears, “Please. Louis…I can’t…you’re leaving me?” He is desperate as he clutches Louis and cries. Louis sighs heavily, settling them both back down into the chairs they had leapt out of in a fury.

 

“Darling.” He says clutching Harry’s hands, “You know that I will always love you but, I think right now its best. Us taking some time apart, not a divorce,” He says firmly when he sees Harry look wild, “Not a divorce, not yet. Just…a separation. Think of this as a time where we find out if we were really meant to be, or if there are other people out there for us. These ten years have been a very long time, babe, and they were the time most people experimented. I can’t…I can’t stand having to see you in those papers, knowing you’re mine, and feel guilty that you never got the time to explore anyone else but me. These men, whether you have them or not, are a sign that you need to get out and let loose. You’re so young, even still, and I just want you to be happy. And baby, you aren’t happy here, not anymore. Maybe not ever. I’m trying to do what is best for you, even if it is going to hurt me.” And Louis presses his lips to Harry’s knuckles, finally letting a few tears dribble over.

 

“I’m always happy with you. I’ve been happy with you.” Harry whispers, “I’ve always wanted you. I never think about other people like that, I don’t. It’s always you. Always.” Harry presses forward to kiss Louis, catching the corner of his mouth, “I can’t lose you to someone else.” His eyelashes flutter against Louis cheek,

 

“You won’t ever lose me.” Louis says gently, turning Harry’s chin towards him. “I don’t think I could ever find someone quite like my curly….” And they laugh softly, brokenly.

 

“So. This is it then?” Harry asks, and he sounds defeated as he leans backwards.

 

“For now.” Louis says and he can’t look Harry in the eyes. “I want you to still be a part of the kids’ lives. I do. Regardless if we are together or not, I want you to still see them and know them, and for them to know you.” Harry stands up and walks over to the sink, grabbing a glass from the drying rack and pours himself some water.

 

“Sure,” He answers raw, “I always will.” And with that, he walks upstairs to their bedroom and the thumping begins. 


	2. Chapter Two: In my life I love you more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated a lot faster than I expected! I hope you guys are okay with this chapter, I promise the interesting/angsty stuff is going to start up in the next chapter :). Thanks for the comments/kudos btw! I appreciated ALL of them <3

  
Though I know I'll never lose affection, f or people and things that went before.  I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life I love you more.   
_**In My Life-The Beatles** _  


**Chapter 2:**

“Patrick, honestly, is there a reason you’re pouring oatmeal on the floor? Now daddy is just going to have to wipe up the mess and you won’t have had anything to eat before going to Papas. God knows he’ll be feeding you so much junk you’ll be puking sugar by the time you’re home.” Louis shouts as his sandy haired three-year-olds tosses his blue plastic bowl on the ground, howling with laughter at Louis’ outburst.

 

It was a typical breakfast in the Stylinson home, Louis and Harry had both agreed it was easier to legally change their names once married so the kids would have a simpler last name, with all three kids perched around the table more interested in tossing their food than eating it. It had been two years since Harry and Louis split; the tension thick at first but the two managing to remain friends despite not getting back together.

 

The anger and hurt they had held towards each other slowly began to fade but Harry was still so busy with Breathe Easy, the two hardly had enough time to try to work on their crumbled relationship and chose the easier way out of it by grabbing lunch every now and again, and texting back and forth about the kids.

 

Their oldest, Darcy, was a very bright six-year-old, with Harry’s dark curls and Louis’ electric blue eyes. She was built similarly to Harry, all legs and torso, which she used to her advantage in her advanced ballet classes. Behind her were their twins, Patrick and Preston, both of which had Louis’ sandy hair and Harry’s green eyes. Patrick was ten minutes older than Preston, and the leader of the two. He held Louis’ mischievous smile and personality, constantly getting himself in trouble at nursery school between emptying the glue bottles on the ground and shoving the other kids out of the way so he could be first on the swings.

 

Preston, on the other hand, had Harry’s gentle demeanor and preferred to rock Darcy’s old baby dolls to sleep and cuddle Louis on the couch while watching movies. He had been born with severe allergic asthma, meaning that molds, pet dander, and dust cause his chest to constrict and muscles to tighten leading to a wicked cough and shortness of breath, needing his inhaler to breathe right again. He began using an inhaler at the age of two, which he uses twice a day, but this week he had come down with a cold Louis was neurotic was turning into bronchitis and had upped the intake to almost four times a day due to the fact that Preston was coughing more than normal.

 

At the stove Jeff, Louis boyfriend he had met a year after Harry and he had split trying to decide between soy and whole milk, tossed Louis a roll of paper towels and gave Patrick a stern look, and then a wink as Louis knelt on the ground and began wiping up the mess. “Daddy,” Patrick said looking very serious, “I can help!” And down he slid from his booster seat, yanking the towels out of Louis hands and smearing the goop across the floor giggling madly as it made more of a mess.

“Christ,” Louis muttered standing up, “Jeff, listen, Harry is meant to be here in an hour and I haven’t gotten a shower and the kids need to tidy up their rooms. Yes, boys, that means all the legos have to go back into the _proper_ drawers. Do you mind helping them do that when I go up to shower?” Louis asks wrapping an arm around his boyfriends muscular torso, smiling.

 

“Sure love,” He says and drops a kiss onto Louis’ head before wiggling out of Louis arms, turning the burner down, and dishing out the scrambled eggs onto everyone’s plates.

 

“Thanks,” Louis says relieved, lifting Patrick back into his booster, “Just leave it, darling, I’ll have to mop it up in a bit. Thank you for being sweet and helping me.” And Patrick snarls and snaps his teeth as Louis drops a kiss to his messy hair. “Ow, God, Patrick! Daddy just wanted to give you a kiss. Anyways, how was your run?” He turns his attention to Jeff and attempts to ignore Patrick’s roaring ( _“Daddy, I’m just being a pilopasaurasrex!”)_ and butters a piece of toast for Preston who was giggling at his brother.

 

“It was really good! I’m running a full marathon now so I’m sure I’ll be ready for Wednesday.” Jeff had been a runner for most of his life and was participating in a marathon for charity this week with Louis accompanying him to watch while the kids spent a week with Harry.

 

“Is Andrew still planning on participating? I know you were saying he’s gone and sprained his ankle on that one run you did,” But before Jeff could answer there was a pounding on the door, and then a loud,

 

“Honey, I’m home!” As Harry wanders through the front entrance and into the kitchen smiling happily to the loud shouts of the children scrambling out of their seats to hug him. “Smashing pajamas, Lou!” Harry laughs eyeing Louis black briefs and faded gray tour shirt from The Script concert they had both attended without knowing. Louis lets out a dry laugh while rolling his eyes at his separated husbands’ humor, pushing his thick glasses up his nose and attempting to fix his flattened hair.

 

“Very funny, Harry, but I’d like to see you trying to pack three kids bags and get them ready and manage to make yourself look decent.” To which Harry cackles loudly and leans down to press a kiss to Louis pink cheek, both trying to ignore the spark it sets off, and then shaking hands with Jeff who smiles politely back. Harry then leans down to give all his kids hugs and kisses before picking up Preston who immediately buries himself into Harry’s neck and coughs wetly.

 

“Still not feeling good?” He asks, geared more toward Louis than to his son, to which Louis replies,

 

“Nope, and that reminds me, Preston you need to get your inhaler before you all go up and start getting dressed and tidy up.” Walking over the double door refrigerator and pulling out the inhaler, shaking it as he hands it to Harry to deliver. Harry takes it gratefully and uncaps it before giving a puff and holding his breath with Preston as he waits the full minute before giving another puff and then handing it back to Louis to store away.

 

“Okay, everyone up with me while we go ahead and get ready to go away to papas!” And Louis scoops Preston out of Harry’s arms leaving Harry and Jeff as he ushers Darcy and Patrick, who has now insisted on walking backwards up every set of stairs he encounters, up to their bedrooms where loud shouting and Darcy’s,

 

“Patrick! That is _not_ the way you put Ella in her bed!” Smiling awkwardly at each other, Harry takes a seat at the kitchen table trying not to feel uncomfortable while Jeff begins to clean up the storm of breakfast.

 

“Would you like anything to eat?” Jeff asks kindly, motioning to the stack of toast and kettle of tea on the stove, “I could fry up another egg if you’d like. They are probably going to be awhile up there.”  To which Harry laughs genuinely and then shakes his head.

 

“No, I’m alright, thanks. Is there anything I can do to help clean up?” He says, stacking a few glasses on the table and Jeff smiles gratefully before taking them up and beginning to load the dishwasher.

 

“It’s fine, but thanks anyways.” The two fall into an easy silence, and Harry admires how quickly and organized the dishwasher becomes. When he had initially found out about Jeff, he had been so upset he had gone on a three day binge which he hardly remembers any of, but has been told he slept with at least four guys and punched Nick Grimshaw in the face for suggesting he cut back on the shots and lines of cocaine. But, Jeff is nice and the kids seem to really adore him, so Harry slowly warmed up to him and the idea of him kissing _his_ Louis good morning and goodnight. Though he is sure he’ll never fully accept the idea of Louis with another man he supposes if he had to choose, Jeff would be the perfect match for his estranged boy.

 

“So, how was touring?” Jeff snaps Harry out of his reverie of admiring the photos lining the steel refrigerator door, Louis and the kids in most of them, even one of himself in the park kissing Darcy on the cheek from just a few months ago when had grabbed a small break before performing the London show.

 

“It was good, yeah.” Harry admits, “Kind of lonely though. It really takes a lot out of a person and I miss the kids…” _And Louis_ is left unsaid as they fall into the uneasy silence once again. “How…uh, how is running going?” He could remember Louis mentioning how Jeff was into marathons and was attempting to convince Louis to start running with him. Harry bites his tongue at the memory of Louis’ bitch face he had pulled, taking a large bite out of pizza and then choking as Patrick took his own slice and smeared it evenly through Darcy’s ponytail.

 

“It’s going well. Not sure if Louis told you but I’m doing a marathon this Wednesday. We’re driving back to Doncaster to see it, Louis mum is well disappointed the kids won’t be coming with.” And he gives a hardened stare as he turns back to scrubbing the sauce pain in the sink.

 

“To bad,” Harry muses, “Guess I’ll have to drive them up there to see them.” The tension in Jeff’s shoulders giving away the detest he had with the idea. Feeling uncomfortable with the way Jeff was eyeing him over the dishrag he began to run across the countertops, Harry stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets.

 

“I’m going to head up and see if they need any help.” He says awkwardly, gesturing with his curls towards the entrance hall which would lead him upstairs. With a curt nod, he filed out and made the decent up the carpeted stairwell, noticing the grape juice stain Darcy had made when he was still living here. Pausing, he ran a calloused hand across the fading purple and smiled softly remembering how he and Louis had argued over who was going to be the one to scrub it but eventually the two ended up working together, growing frustrated at the offending mark which stared starkly at them, never changing. Eventually, Harry had kissed Louis, muttering an apology about not wanting to clean and the two had made love-because they never fucked after they said I love you-right there on the stairs, Harry’s nose brushing Louis’ as he hovered over him, the stairs digging into their knees and backs, but the soft smiles never leaving.

 

A cough drags him out of another memory, and he looks up to see Preston smiling through the banister at him, and then running off once he realizes Harry notices him. Jogging the rest of the stairs, Harry moves to go to the boys room first but is distracted by the wall of pink and soft singing coming from his little girls room. Knocking on the door, avoiding the hanging glass heart with baby handprints and cursive spelling Darcy Elizabeth Stylinson, he pokes his head into the room to see her at a small dressing table combing through her waist long curls. “My don’t we look beautiful,” He admires, trying not to blanch at the mini combat boots, frilled pink tutu, jean vest and white shirt with a sparkling kitten on the front.

 

“I’m getting my ‘cesseries.” She tells him seriously, clipping a fake bow onto the side of her head, brushing all the stray hairs out of her face. Slipping a few beaded necklaces around her neck, she tucks the brush into her monogrammed bookbag, and nods her head. “I’m all ready!” She stands up and hands him her bag with a serious expression marring her pretty face, “Be careful. All my valuables are in there.” With that, she prances delicately from her bedroom and he can hear her calling for Jeff as she makes her way down the stairs.

 

Slipping the bag over his shoulder, Harry makes his way down the hall and into the boys room which was painted navy and blue and red, lined with sports décor and matching twin beds. He can hear growling coming from the bathroom, and sees a now showered and dressed Louis wrestling Patrick into a pair of jeans. “Oh thank _god,_ ” Louis exclaims when he notices Harry standing there, “Could you come help me please? He has been so difficult recently, I’m going to be grey next time you see me.” And he thrusts a thrashing Patrick who is now crying at Harry who gives him a quick tickle to distract him from the offending article of clothing.

 

“What? Patrick being outspoken and wild? No way! Not my little man,” Harry laughs and grabs the blue t-shirt on the bed and slipping it over his sons head before he can get away. Once dressed, Patrick’s tears cease and he scrunches his nose scornfully at down at his new outfit.

 

“Papa, I was going to be Batman today.” He flicks his hair out of his eyes and runs into the closet nearby and begins digging through a costume bin, being sure to toss every article that he was not going to be wearing. Louis walks out, huffing at the flying capes, carrying a similarly dressed Preston (who wore red instead of blue) and settling on the floor next to Harry as the two wait for Patrick to collect his outfit.

 

“Have you both gotten everything together, _including_ all your toys you plan on bringing this week?” Preston stands in front of Louis, pale faced as he snuggles into his neck and nods his head, closing his eyes as Louis rubs his back gently.

 

“Yes, but no more dolls because that is for babies and girls!” Patrick shouts, now inside the bin as he fits the batman mask on his face and attempts to fasten the yellow cape around his neck.

 

“I like dolls.” Preson says firmly, pulling out of his fathers’ neck long enough to glare over at his twin brother.

 

“If Preston wants to bring his babies, he can bring his babies. They aren’t just for girls, and you know that.” Harry says and Louis smiles gratefully, glad that Harry isn’t disappointed in his son for wanting to play house instead of superhero war.

 

Once both boys are finished stuffing their bags, Louis removing a dozen sweets and the random lego pieces, the four make their way back down into the entrance hall where Jeff and Darcy meet them, Darcy clutching a juice pouch and sitting on top of the matching luggage set already packed in the hallway.

 

“Oh…Darce, I love your outfit.” Louis says, taking in his daughters choice of wardrobe for the day, secretly delighted in the fact that he had packed the rest of her clothing and the costumes would ( _hopefully_ ) only be worn once.

“Thanks daddy!” She says cheerily and then follows Harry and Jeff out as they begin to load the baggage into the boot of the car. Once getting to the small bags sat on top, Louis catches Harry’s arm before he tosses it in.

“In there Jeff and I have organized a binder with all the kids allergies, food likes and dislikes, play date numbers, school times, and when you need to deliver Preston’s medication!” Harry giving Louis a disbelieving look.

“Lou, honestly. You act as if I’ve never bloody watched the kids in my life. I’ve got it. Stop being so neurotic all the time!” Causing Louis to glare and hitch Preston higher up onto his hip.

“Well excuse me for being concerned, I just want to make sure they are being taken care of properly.” Making Harry frown and give Louis a dirty look.

“I’m their father too, or have you forgotten that fact?” And Louis looks properly embarrassed about that fact, twitching his lips and turning red.

“Of course I haven’t.” He says firmly, but his voice and eyes are downcast, “I talk about you all the time to them. You saw the pictures on all their nightstands. They know.” And Harry has the decency to feel bad, noticing the way that Jeff has now grabbed the other two kids and buckled them into the car, eyeing the tension between Harry and Louis.

“Sorry.” Harry says, “You know. For not being around…and making you feel like I won’t take proper care of them.”

“I’m sorry as well. I know you’re going to be fine, they’ll be fine, everything will be fine. I just worry.” And with that he walks around to tuck Preston into his seat and give all three kids kisses and hugs goodbye, wiping quickly at his dampening eyes. Before Harry climbs up into the drivers seat, Louis grabs him for a brief hug, causing him to flail awkwardly, missing the hug completely and pulling Louis back in for a proper one, Harrys nestled tight around his thin waist. “Call me,” Louis says as they pull apart again, “Please. Call me anytime if anything happens. And PLEASE do not forget to give Preston his medication. He’s been having asthma attacks during the night so he has been sleeping with me…just. Please keep an eye out for him?” Harry smiles sweetly, climbing into the car and saluting Louis jokingly.

“Aye aye captain neurotic!” He laughs and Louis gives a weak smile back, “Of course I’ll call you at the slightest thing.” He says a bit more soberly, and he blows a kiss as he backs out of the driveway and down onto the street, the black car turning right and fading off, leaving Louis and Jeff to themselves.

“Think they’ll be okay?” Louis says seriously, and curls himself into Jeff’s side.

“More than okay,” Jeff confirms and presses a kiss onto Louis cheek, “Come on. Let’s go take advantage of the silence!” And the two of them walk off, hand-in-hand, back through the front door.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments/kudos :). I take any type of comment you have.


	3. Chapter Three: Wouldn't it be Nice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Womp! I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update, I promised myself I wouldn't be a bad updater :(. I'm just busy with school, I'm a junior in college, and I started posting this when I was home for spring break. I was applying to study abroad, finding a place to live next spring, getting re-hired, and I'm in a sorority. My free time is minimal (BOO). I promise to be better updating this and after next week I should be able to find a lot of free time!! 
> 
>  
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this chapter and it isn't to lame! It will be where the angst begins to come in so please be WARNED!
> 
> If you're interested in tracking this story on tumblr please follow me here: 1d-larryshipper192.tumblr.com

_"Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up  
In the morning when the day is new?"_

_**The Beach Boys**  
_

__**  
**  
**Chapter 3: Wouldn't it be Nice?**

 

Preston hasn’t stopped crying since Harry pulled out of the driveway at his old place, dummy hanging limply between his lips as he attempts to turn his entire body around in his booster seat, reaching a hand back at Louis vanishing body sobbing out, “Daddy!” As they cruise out and onto the highway.

“Preston, it’s alright, you’re going to see daddy again very soon. I promise.” Harry attempts to soothe from the drivers seat, hoping the boy will wear himself out and fall asleep on the thirty minute drive.

“Yeah, ‘sides papa says we can have pizza for dinner! He even says we can choose which one we want.” Darcy reaches over to give her younger brothers’ hand a squeeze and Preston’s tears slowly start diminishing, only a few hiccups and coughs echo throughout the car, and Harry glances back in the review mirror only to find Patrick staring darkly at him.

“You alright Patrick?” He asks, and Patrick scrunches his nose and turns out the window, avoiding to look at Harry.

“You’ve made Preston cry.” He says with no laughter in his voice, “I don’t like it when other people make him sad.”

“Patrick, I haven’t made him cry. He’s just feeling a bit sad because we left daddy back at home but he’ll be okay.” Harry tries to reason with the three-year-old.

“Well, I don’t like it.” Patrick snaps and with that he shifts in his own booster and ends up slapping Darcy in the head in an attempt to reach across his sister, who ended up being squeezed between the two booster seats, to hold his brothers hand. “It’s alright, Preston, when we get there I can save you.” And his small voice is serious as he attempts to whisper so Harry won’t hear.

“Careful not to hit your sister Patrick. Remember she’s between the two of you.” Harry says to the boy, eyeing him again through the mirror only to be met with a stare that rivaled Louis old bitch face.

“Sorry,” He hears Patrick say anyways, eyes never leaving the side of Harry’s head.

Finally after an hour ride, an accident backing up traffic, they arrive at Harry’s complex where they grab all their bags and make their upstairs so he could order the pizza and settle them all down for a movie to relax, having been wound up by the trip. After bringing all their belongings to the guest room where he had double beds and a trundle set up, he makes his way into the kitchen to rifle through his drawer of take out menus to find the number for dominos. A small tugging on his leg startles him out of the searching and he looks down to find a pale Preston staring up at him, hot pink dummy sticking out of his mouth.

Louis had informed Harry the last time they had met up that Preston was very insistent on still using his dummy, and no amount of begging or bribing would get the boy to quit using it, so the both he and Louis had decided to let him use it until he managed to grow out of it.

“Hi darling,” Harry says and gently pulls the boy up into his arm, sneaking a quick kiss onto his cheek and letting Preston nestle up under his chin, “You feeling okay?” And Preston shakes his head mutely, instead clutching a fist into Harry’s shirt, and giving a weak cough.

“Maybe we should take the dummy out when we have a cough? It probably makes it harder for you to breathe,” He says to the boy and tugs at the puckered up plastic piece, which Preston easily let’s slide out of his mouth, yawning and nuzzling his pointed nose into his father’s neck. Harry sighs out a breath of relief and takes a moment to rock the boy in his arms, reveling in the feel of his tiny body pressed close-their heartbeats matching as Prestons’ breathing begins to even out. “I love you baby boy,” Harry says softly, face pressed closely into his hair. Preston only responding with a soft smile on his face.

After waking a protesting Preston up for a few bites of pizza, Harry herds all the kids upstairs into the bathroom, letting Darcy quickly shower in his and helping the boys bathe together in the guest room. As he ushers both in Harry admires the difference between the two boys, Patricks immediate ease and excitement jumping right into the water, then turning to softly coax Preston to join him, who puts himself in with reservation eyes turning back to Harry to make sure he is getting in okay.

As the two boys play together, Harry banters back and forth, going in and out to make sure Darcy is okay and to help find all their toothbrushes and pajamas. When he returns back into the bathroom to wash their hair Patrick watches him with a calculated look.

“Careful not get it in the eyes!” He says when Harry dips a little lower on Prestons head, and Harry smiles back him.

“It’s okay love, I won’t get it in his eyes. It’s special shampoo too, remember? It won’t make your eyes hurt.” And Patrick nods seriously and then settles back down to watch carefully.

“Papa,” Preston asks after Harry is finished rinsing the shampoo from his eyes.

“Hmm?” Harry asks and then slides down to wash Patrick’s hair, attempting to avoid the flailing limbs as Patrick growls (Louis had mentioned his keen interest in being an imaginary dinosaur).

“I wish daddy could give me kisses night,” He says and he looks so pitiful, all pale cheeked and wide eyes.

“Well, what about if we _call_ daddy and you can wish him goodnight through the phone? Would that be okay?” Harry asks and even Patrick stops squirming to cheer enthusiastically.

Once all of them are ready, he tucks them into their individual beds and on Patrick’s insistence, tucks Preston into the same bed as he. Pulling out his phone he quickly calls Louis who speaks to each child individually and bids them all a goodnight and an extra I love you, and Harry smiles to himself as he notices both his little boys relax into each other. Leaning down he kisses them the younger two first and repeats Louis words and even gives Patrick’s swinging fists ( _“Papa, piloposaurs don’t like kisses,”)_ an extra kiss as he calms the wiggling boy. As he reaches Darcy in the adjacent twin bed, the trundle never having been rolled out, he leans down to kiss her and she reaches up to meet him, wrapping her skinny arms around his neck. Taking a moment he clutches her extra close to his heart, attempting to keep himself from sentimentally tearing up. He knows that she took his and Louis’ split hard, and she could remember what it was like for him to be home and for her dads to never fight and he wished more than anything he could give his daughter back what she had lost.

“Papa?” She questions softly, eyeing over to her brothers who were already drifting into sleep.

“Yes baby?” He asks and sits down on the bed giving her his full attention.

“Do you miss daddy?” And Harry feels himself take an involuntary sharp breath at her, almost, innocent words thinking carefully how to word his answer. Immediately he wants to tell her yes, that he missed Louis like an amputated limb. That he missed Sunday brunch, home cooked meals, singing her to sleep while she lay in between them. That he missed cuddling and movies, kissing Louis cheek while he read in his glasses, and having someone to call at 3 AM when he couldn’t fall asleep on a tour bus. But, above all, he missed the closeness that he and Louis had shared. He missed making love to Louis, because described any other way would just add insult to the way their noses brushed and eyes locked. But, looking down at her with her hair curling loosely and his Louis eyes staring up, he didn’t want to confuse her because as much as he missed Louis, he knew it was a longtime coming before anything was going to be normal again.

“Well sure sweetheart,” He says clearing his throat open, “But I think I miss you way more.” And with that, he lays with the three of them in darkness while they all fall asleep.

Harry isn’t sure what time he makes it back into his own bed, but he swears he’s only been asleep for ten minutes when he feels hands shaking him awake. Startled, he jerks away, eyes wild and looks quickly around the room before he finds Darcy looking at him, eyes terrified. She’d been crying.

“Darce, honey, what’s wrong?” He sits up and starts to slide over to let her into the bed when her tiny hands reach out and grab a hold of him.

“Papa, something’s wrong.” She’s crying in earnest now and tugging on his hands and he jumps out of bed, thanking the Lord he had remembered to keep a pair of pants on.

“What? What’s happened?” Mind blanking as she drags him down the hallway to the room the three kids were sharing, a light shining through and as they swiftly approach he can hear it.

The coughing, gasping breath, is echoing through the hallway and his heart leaps into his throat only one thought in his mind, _Preston_ _._ He immediately drops Darcey’s hand and he runs to the room shouting back to her, “Darcy, you need to go downstairs into the kitchen and get me _all_ of Preston’s medicine. Do you understand me?” And her eyes look serious as she doesn’t question him taking off down the hallway.

 

When Harry gets into the bedroom, both boys are sat up and Preston is stark pale and hunched over, his little body heaving as he gasps for breath, eyes looking crazed as he stares up at his father entering the room. Immediately, Harry runs to Preston and lifts him up, whispering words of assurance to him as they head towards the bathroom and turn all the water onto steaming hot, fan running, and sets Preston down on the rug.

 

“Patrick, love, I want you to wait in the bedroom with Darcy once she’s brought up the medicine. Preston is just fine, it’s just an asthma attack, he has these all the time. You’re okay baby.” He says to Patrick who stands terrified at his fathers feet clutching helplessly at Harry’s pant leg. “Preston, you need to try and take big breaths for me. Do it with me!” And together, all three of them sit on the rug as they try to help calm Preston who’s eyes become glazed over, breathing not evening out.

 

Darcy comes into the bathroom, a medical bag in her hands and he gives her the same directions he told Patrick, and the two hesitantly retreat, closing the bathroom door to help keep the steam inside. Swiftly, Harry uncaps and shakes the inhaler, helping Preston with taking the first round. One puff turns into four and nothing in his sons breath begins to change, and he’s hardly making sound, lips beginning to tinge blue when Harry begins to panic. Something is seriously wrong. Quickly fiddling with the nebulizer, on auto pilot as he stuffs the tube into his youngest mouth, praying this will help his airways open.

 

 Opening the bathroom door, he sees both children sat on the floor, Darcy sitting with her back to the wall, Patrick cuddling between her legs. “Darcy, baby, run and get me the phone, as fast as you can.” And she is off running down the hallway and into his bedroom. “Breathe baby,” He says to Preston, but Preston doesn’t turn to him.

 

“Is he hurt?” Patrick asks, having come back to the doorway to find comfort in the absence of his sister, “Is my Preston sick?” He looks so tiny and Harry breaks, eyes filling with tears at the state of his children. How could he have let this happen? Louis had _told_ him Preston was having all these attacks, he should have let the boy sleep with him. Should have gotten to him sooner, shouldn’t have waited so long to sleepily come down the hallway. How _stupid_ could he have been thinking it was just a nightmare that had scared his strong willed six-year-old. Before he can reassure Patrick with the question, he grabs the phone out of Darcy’s hands as she returns back to him, chest heaving.

 

“I called 999,” She says importantly, “Daddy told me,” She’s beginning to cry again, little feared sobs coming out, “Dad…daddy said…he told me, he said to call them when we can’t fix it.” And Harry can hear a tiny voice on the other line shouting out to him. Quickly, he relays the information to the oppertator, who immediately assures him that an ambulance is on their way and to relax and continue to do what he is doing.

 

The minutes tick by slowly and Preston’s condition worsens, his choked breaths echoing loudly off the tiled walls and his other two’s crying echoing down the hallway, as he cradles Preston, keeping the nebulizer attached in his mouth desperate for something to help the boy breath. A loud banging echoes through the home, and Harry realizes he hadn’t heard the sirens but can see the lights flashing up from the front drive.

 

“Go,” He says to his daughter, “Let them in and tell them we are here. Hurry!” And she takes off again, followed up by two men in blue who are carrying a stretcher. The rest is a blur, as they wrestle his son out of his arms, attaching an oxygen mask and restraining the outstretched arms to the board, and Harry is pressing as many kisses as he can to Preston telling him he was going to be okay. They all follow them out of the house and into the ambulance and Harry is cradling Patrick who is shrieking for his brother as they load him.

 

“If you’d like to follow behind us, we’ll be taking him to the memorial hospital on 5th and main.” A man tells Harry, who’s watching them attach an IV drip to the 3-year-old, who’s eyes are lidded over and rolled back. “We will have someone meet you in the emergency room, and lead you through the steps of what is going on.”

 

“Can…My…my husband. I’m going to call him to get the kids. Can we come back to the back with Preston, please? He’s only three, please; he’s going to be so scared if we aren’t there when he wakes up. Especially if he can’t see my husband, please you have to understand.” And the man gives a sympathetic nod.

 

“Mr. Stylinson, I’m so sorry but we don’t allow parents in the back until the children are stabilized. I hope you understand that it is more of a danger to him if you are back there. A lot of times, parents react negatively seeing their children in these conditions, which could off set him seeing you so distraught. The minute we have him in a stable condition, you will be allowed to see him. We will see you there.” With that, he climbs into the passenger side and the sirens flare down the road, honking at the crowd that began to build up in the neighbors’ yard; staring at the trembling girl in a nightgown, a hysterical toddler in Power Ranger pajamas, both cradled to a young boy in a pair of boxer briefs and a thin shirt. The road is silent except for Patrick’s anguished screams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember to leave comments/kudos if you have not already!


	4. Chapter Four: When I was your Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I hate me as much as you do for how LONG it took to update this story! I had an AWFUL writers block and I was sooooo busy with school that I literally wrote like 3-4 sentences a day (maybe) and kept changing everything because it was turning out so shit. 
> 
> 2) As a result of the writers block, this chapter seems kind of forced and ridiculous. I apologize.
> 
> 3) I hope you guys still keep up and read this! Excuse how ridiculous it is. Please!
> 
> 4) Enjoy my beautiful, wonderful readers :).

_Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…_

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

 

**Bruno Mars**

**Chapter 4: When I was your man**

Harry sat still in the waiting room of the emergency room in central London, Darcy curled into his side, curls splayed out as she rests her sleeping head on his thigh. Settled on his other thigh, face in chest, Patrick had cried himself to sleep. After the ambulance had taken off, Harry had brought them in and dressed them in jackets and shoes, then called Louis as they sped out towards the hospital. Closing his eyes, Harry tries not to let his mind dwell on the sobbing from the other line, a guilty conscious creeping up once again being no longer distracted by two distraught children.

 

Across from him, an older gentleman heaves a great cough and the women next to him settles a hand across his back, startling Patrick from his slumber who immediately begins to well up at the interruption.

 

“It’s okay darling,” Harry whispers to his son, pressing Patrick closer into his side, who continues to wail.

 

“I wa-want,” He hiccups, “I want Preston,” His chubby fists make grabby hands towards the swinging doors Harry had assured the two of them earlier their brother was being all fixed behind. “I want hi-him t-to come out n-ow,” His wailing now has woken Darcy up who beings to look worriedly at her ragged looking father, and the now five curious patients all staring over at the oddly dressed crew. Harry tries to resist the urge to punch the young group of boys, one of which has an oddly extended arm and his partner a few blossoming dark marks on his face, who are rolling their eyes and whispering-eyes pointed in his direction.

 

“Maybe we should call daddy,” She suggests quietly to Harry who tiredly rubs Patrick’s back in an attempt to help him settle back into sleep, his tears only making Harry’s own throat feel thick.

 

“That’s a good idea!” He says to her and drops a kiss to her head, “Patrick do you want to call daddy? He’s going to be here very shortly,” Patrick nods his head and the sobbing beings to slow into a few coughs as Harry fumbles around in his jumper to find his telephone. Just as he begins to one handedly type in his passcode, Louis and Jeff cross through the threshold and immediately sags in relief at the site of his two other kids and Harry but managing to set Patrick off into another fit of tears as he wriggles to get out of Harry’s arms.

 

“Lou,” Is all Harry manages to get out over Patrick’s crying as Louis scoops Patrick up and shushes the baby almost instantly. After a few minutes of soothing rocking and kisses, Patrick’s eyelids droop heavily and he begins to drift off against Louis chest. Both men ignore the group of boys shouts of, “ _You couldn’t have done that earlier?!”_ To Harry and Louis stares sadly down at Harry, who turns his gaze away from the confused eyes.

 

“Jeff is going to take these two back home,” Louis says gently, “Come on Darcy, let’s go sweetums. You and Patrick can come back tomorrow once you’ve gotten a nice night of sleep. Besides, no use waiting in this yucky room for Preston when you can come back tomorrow to see him when he’s all better.” Darcy stands up, turning to Harry and giving him a tight squeeze and he picks her up quickly pressing a few kisses to the side of her face bidding her a goodnight. He then sets her down as she takes Jeff’s hand as Louis follows him out and helps settle Patrick into the car.

 

With the two kids gone, Harry settles back into the chair and let’s his eyes close-the feeling of guilt creeping back in. He couldn’t believe that nothing he had tried was able to help Preston. Louis had always been able to stop the attacks, knowing exactly what to do and remaining calm during the whole thing. He had always been the one to dry everyone else’s tears in the aftermath and cuddle them all up in his arms. Harry swallows thickly at the thought of his estranged husband being the better parent, as usual. He thinks often of how he and Louis would still be together if it wasn’t for the fact that he was such a bad dad. _Only a terrible parent would end up with their three-year-old in the hospital over an asthma attack_ , he thinks.

 

To caught up in his own anguished feelings he doesn’t notice Louis entering back in and settling down next to him, until he feels a hand on his thigh and he startles at the soft affection. “Hey,” He mutters and avoids looking at Louis, whose eyes are brimming with tears.

 

“Hi,” Louis says softly but doesn’t move his hand, “Explain what happened?” He asks and gently turns Harry towards him. Harry had tried to tell him over the phone, but the most he could get out between everyone shouting and crying was that Preston was in the hospital because his asthma attack wouldn’t stop. Bowing his head and swallowing deeply, Harry shakes Louis’ hand from his thigh and sighs.

 

“It’s my fault,” He says thickly, ignoring Louis noise of protest, “It is. I knew he had been having attacks a lot recently, and I should have thought more about it before I put them to bed. I didn’t even wake up for it; Darcy had to come get me.” Harry let’s a few tears drip down and he scrubs his face, voice scratchy. “I didn’t even understand what was going on when she was crying. She was even the one who called the paramedics. I just sat in the bathroom with him and tried to get him to use the inhaler and nebulizer. I even tried to steam out the bathroom, and do deep breathing with him. Nothing I did was working, I don’t even know what I was thinking. I could have killed him!” With that Harry fully lets himself begin to cry.

 

“Harry, no, you didn’t…you did what any parent would have done. You did everything you could have. It was the right thing to do to call the ambulance. You didn’t kill him, you probably are the only reason he’s alright back there. Asthma attacks can get really dangerous, and we’ve always known how bad his asthma is.” Louis wraps a comforting arm around Harry’s shoulder, and the two sit in silence as they wait for news on Preston.

 

“Preston Stylinson’s family?” A nurse calls out from the help desk, and the pair jump up towards the women. “The doctor is ready to see you now, please follow left through these doors so Janice can take you to meet him.” And with a buzzing noise, the doors swing open and Harry grabs a trembling Louis’ hand, locking their fingers together with a comforting squeeze, as they proceed through.

 

A young nurse, presumbly Janice, with a bobbing blonde pony tail smiles as they come around the corner; with a chart in hand takes them down a narrow hallway filled with teddy bear designs, and murals of children with no hair smiling and laughing in a field. Harry gives a quick prayer above that Preston is safe and healthy. Finally, they reach a room labeled ‘102C’ but the door is closed over and the nurse stops them right before they enter. “Dr. Rickinson will be right out to meet you, would you mind just sitting and waiting here?” She gestures to a few seats lined up across the wall and he feels Louis’ hand stiffen.

 

“I’d like to go in and see Preston,” Louis says firmly, “I’m sick of sitting and waiting around. I want to know what’s going on with my son. I _deserve_ to know what the _Hell_ has been happening around here.” His normally calm blue eyes flash dangerously, turning darker and the pupils widening. The nurse gives a sympathetic nod to Louis, and Harry let’s go of his hand in order to put an arm around his waist, laying a kiss to the side of his head.

 

“They are going to let us know,” He says softly in Louis ear who still feels stiff despite his chest heaving, “Preston is okay, he’s right through there and if we wait just a bit longer he’s going to be so happy to see you.” Before the nurse can chime in with a comforting phrase she relays probably hundreds of times a day, Harry leads them both over to the seats and sets Louis down before kneeling in front of him. At his words, the stiffness had edged down and he had began to shake, now crying into Harry’s neck.

 

“I’m sorry,” He chokes out, Harry feeling more than hearing, “I’m so scared. I don’t like not being there and not knowing, and I’m scared something is seriously wrong. I have this awful feeling. I mean Haz,” He pulls his face out of Harry’s neck who tries not to blush at the old nickname, “Harry. They’ve been back here for hours and nobody has told us a damn thing.” Running his hands up and down Louis thighs a few times in efforts to sooth him, Harry shushes Louis and tries to squash his own worries.

 

“I know,” He murmurs quietly, “I know this is hard…believe me, I know how awful this wait has been,” causing Louis to give a shaky nod, “But, I trust them to know what they are doing and they wouldn’t have brought us back here if something horrible had happened. I promise love.” He let’s slip out but doesn’t correct himself. As Harry stands up from his position on the floor, an older man with a round face and graying hair comes out of 102C and nods towards them.

 

“You must be Preston’s parents!” He says, his voice deep and booming with an edge of comfort curling around the edges, “I’m Dr. Rickinson, I helped take on Preston once brought in.” He begins to flip through the chart the nurse had left in the box on the door after dropping them off. “Now it seems that Preston has always had a bit of a severe case of asthma?” Both Harry and Louis nod their confirmation. “Now, first things first I am going to have to be honest with you. With an asthma attack as severe as Preston’s it cut off a lot of oxygen flowing into his brain. While we did everything we could, Preston experienced cardiac arrest, and as a result as fallen into a coma.” Dr. Rickinson pauses and Harry sees Louis knees begin to give, quickly wrapping an arm around his waist. “I want you to know that we have done everything we can to help him maintain stability.” The silence between the young parents and the doctor stretch for what feels like ages until confused Harry asks,

 

"When will he come out of it?” But Dr. Rickinson heaves a great sigh and readjusts his glasses.

 

“This is the hardest part,” He tells them seriously, “We couldn’t give you an exact time for him to come out of the coma. Ideally, he’ll be out of it by the end of the night…however, it could last anywhere from three days to three months.” With that Louis begins to cry in earnest, and the doctor gives a frown. “I can assure you both that we are monitoring Preston closely and the slightest amount of change we will alert you.” He looks between both of their distraught faces, Louis’ covered by his hands as he cries into Harry’s shoulder. “Before I bring you in to see him you must both be aware of what you’re coming into. It can be very shocking on many parents so if at any time you need to step out, there’s a café on the third floor. All the equipment attached to him is helping in various ways for him to get all the proper care while in a coma. The breathing and feeding tubes are completely normal and are not hurting him in any way. The IV will also not leave any long term scarring.”

 

 With that Dr. Rickinson pushed open the door and they stepped into a small room with a bathroom attached and a bed near the window, occupied by the palest boy Harry was sure he had ever seen. Bidding his goodbyes, Dr. Rickinson leaves Harry and Louis behind to adjust to seeing their son in the hospital bed.

 

Louis is the first over to Preston and though his tears had stopped Harry’s heart breaks when he hears Louis voice crack as he murmurs, “Hi baby.” To Preston leaning down to kiss his forehead, “Hi baby…I’m here now, you’re okay.” But Preston doesn’t move as his chest rhythmically falls with the breathing tube sticking out of his lips. Coming up to the other side of the bed, Harry reaches out a gentle hand and takes one of Preston’s small ones in his own, kissing the knuckles carefully, trying not to disturb the IV sticking out of the center.

 

Their eyes meet over the bed and Louis’ are red rimmed as he looks helplessly at Harry, who mirrors his expression and answers the unspoken question of what were they going to do with, “I don’t know love…I don’t know.”

 

Eventually, the two manage to fall in and out of shaky sleep,the bustling noise in the hallway or any sound change in the equipment monitoring Preston causing them to sit up abruptly and look wildly around the room for any sign of change only to be disheartened with the same view as before. When it reaches 8’o’clock in the morning Louis takes a phone call from Jeff letting him know he had called Darcy and Patrick out of school and informed them of Preston’s condition. By noon, Harry gets them food and methodically chews as a nurse begins to write down the stats on her clipboard.

 

A half hour later, Jeff brings Darcy and Patrick for a visit who stand timidly glued to Louis’ legs as he explains to them what is happening with Preston. Darcy leaves a card on the beside table, and Patrick sets down his favorite Batman action figure in Prestons sleeping arms. None of them say much as they stare down at the boy. Once Jeff and the kids leave, Harry and Louis both agree to go to the cafeteria for dinner (Harry having to do a bit of convincing to get Louis to leave Preston) and they settle into the same side of a booth. Harry brings them each a silce of pizza on one plate and Louis rests his face against his hands propped on the table.

 

“When Preston and Patrick were born,” Harry rasps, voice scratchy from not talking for hours, “I brought Darcy down here and got her the biggest cup of strawberry ice cream and she spilled it all down the front of that white shirt you loved,” and Louis smiles faintly, “I spent ages in the bathroom trying to rinse it and she couldn’t stop laughing because I was in such a fret of how you’d react.” He shifts slightly in the booth, stretching his legs far enough out to rest on the other side, “But you were so drugged up you didn’t care when I told you. You just kept saying you were so happy I was such a good dad and you couldn’t wait for us to bring the boys home.” He avoids Louis gaze and picks at the melted cheese. “I wish I could say that you were right,” He voice cracks and he bites down hard to make the watering in his eyes retreat.

 

“Harry,” Louis says and he sits up and links their fingers together, “You’re a very good dad. What happened to Preston is awful…but it isn’t your fault. It isn’t my fault, the doctors fault, or even the kids. It was an awful accident,” He pauses rubbing Harry’s knuckles with his thumb, “But we can’t blame ourselves. We just have to pray that he wakes up really soon. And you know our baby likes his sleep so maybe we'll have to wait longer than we want but we just have to remember that this isn't our fault.” With that they both chuckle a little brokenly and stand up to clean up the rest of their food and make their way back into the ICU.

 

For six days the two continue a routine of coming in and out of the hospital, occasionally going home to freshen up, and taking turns bringing Patrick and Darcy out for lunch but each night returning back to the hospital where they are now on first name basis with the night nurses. It’s late on Wednesday, neither quite sure of the time, and Louis is reading Peter Rabbit to Preston (one of his favorites) as Harry makes sweeping motions against Preston’s forehead, brushing his bangs off to the side humming a lullaby. So caught up in the motion Harry doesn’t notice Louis voice trail off and only stops his soothing fingers when feels a piercing gaze, looking up only to lock eyes with Louis.

 

“Yes?” He says nervously, and Louis smiles with tired eyes.

 

“Nothing…I…nothing, nevermind.” He says and clears his throat looking back down at the book and starting to read again.

 

“Tell me.” Harry all but commands yet Louis shakes his head shortly,

 

“No, it’s nothing. I just had a thought is all, got reminded of something silly.”

 

“Reminded of what?” But Louis only shakes his head again, eyes hardening over.

 

“I said it isn’t important, Harry. Let’s just drop it.” Causing Harry to tug angrily on his hair and pulls the book out of Louis hands.

 

“Louis, stop doing this.” He says firmly.

 

“I’m not doing anything, Harry.” Louis replies as equally hard back.

 

“Yes you are! Jesus, you _always_ are doing this!” Harry shouts getting up from his chair and walking around to the other side of the bed. “You’ve done this ever since we split, you won’t open up to me. You won’t tell me anything. The moment we start going good again you freak out and completely back off me and I don’t get it.”

 

“Going good again?” Louis says incrediously, “Going _good again?_ Are you completely out of your mind? Harry we haven’t ‘gone good’ with each other since the twins were born! I’ve not done a single thing to close myself away from you. You were the one who pulled away from _me!_ You were the one who made me have to make the decision of splitting us up. I had to be the grown up all the time because _you_ couldn’t open up and be honest with me! _You_ couldn't tell me you were unhappy. This is  _not_ on me.” Louis feels his face flush an angry red, but keeps his voice and tears at bay as he stares at Harry with uncultivated eyes. The room echos with silence and they can hear Janice talking animatedly outside the door about a raise for the night shift workers. 

 

“Louis, I’m sorry.” Harry mutters finally and he shuffles forward to the boy in the chair and settles in between Louis legs on his knees. “Lou, I’m so sorry for how I was back then. I was stupid, I acted stupid and I did stupid, stupid, _stupid¸_ things that I can’t reverse or erase or change. But I do know how sorry I am and I all I’ve ever wanted was a chance to prove to you that I’m different now. I’ve changed so much and I just want you to see it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted you to see since I’ve been gone.” Harry timidly rests his hands on Louis thighs and leans forward, their foreheads almost touching, “Louis…I can’t stop ever apologizing to make up for it…and baby I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss waking up to you, and falling asleep with you by my side. I miss calling you on tour, and hearing the babies in the background. I’d do anything in the world to have you as mine again. Please.” His voice is barely above a whisper and Louis has his eyes squeezed tight and his mouth pressed in a line.

 

“Harry,” He chokes out, “Harry…I…” and Harry plants a kiss on his cheek, catching a few tears that have leaked out of Louis eyes.

 

“I love you,” He whispers against Louis cheek, “I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you and I’ve never stopped. Not once. You’re just as beautiful to me now as you were back then and I’ll love you until I die.” He pulls back enough to stare at Louis’ face, whose eyes are now opened and watering, “But love, I’ve been slowly dying without you. I can’t function properly without you.”

 

“Harry,” Louis repeats and Harry grips his face between his large hands, preening at the way Louis turns into them. “What about Jeff?” he asks and Harry shakes his head.

 

“Tell me you still love me,” He asks ignoring the question.

 

“Harry, I couldn’t…what about Jeff…he’s been there for me so much and he’s been helping out with everything, he’s never done anything to me I-“ But Harry cuts him off,

 

“Louis, tell me. Tell me you love me.” Both their chests rise in time and Louis can feel his entire body trembling, and _how is Harry holding himself so still?_   “Tell me, please. Baby.” The only giveaway that Harry is scared is the way his eyes swim with questioning at Louis' silence. “Please,” He whispers just one last time, “Tell me something, please.”

 

“Of course I still love you.” Louis whispers, “I still love you. I love you.” And Harry kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please leave some kudos (if you haven't already) and I always love a good comment! Mean or nice ;).


	5. Chapter Five: Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER:
> 
> 1) Death of a character  
> 2) Sex Scene
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this one...sorry it's so sad :(.

_Ain't it clear when I'm near you_

_I'm just dying to hear you_

_Calling my name one more time_

**Ray Lamontagne**

**Chapter 5: Burn**

 

The two had made a bed of sorts along the couch near Preston’s hospital bed using both blankets Janice had left them to tuck in. Louis was curled into Harry’s chest, Harry’s finger tips curling up under the soft cotton of Louis shirt as they sat in the darkness of the hospital room-each trying to ignore their tightened pants. “Tell me about Jeff,” Harry whispers and Louis’ heart aches deep inside of him, and he curses the emergency light shining over the medical cabinet near them, his blush bright against his cheeks.

 

“Harry you don’t want to hear about that,” He says eventually and the fingers that had been dancing around his hipbone still for a brief instant. The two stay in the tense silence as the beeping of Preston’s heart monitor thud out loudly, reassuring them both that he’s still there.

 

“Maybe I don’t want to hear about him, precisely…but I…” He trails off and clears his throat, shifting slightly and Louis tries to ignore the quiet gasp of breath as his dick brushes up against Louis arse. “I want…I mean…I think I want to hear about the person who won your heart.” He eventually gets out and the arms wrapped around Louis’ squeeze tighter and he can feel Harry’s warm breath tickling his ear.

 

“He didn’t win my heart,” Louis makes clear, “The only people who’ve had it since you are the kids…and they don’t own it like you do. I love you,” His voice is hardly a whisper as he turns his face slightly to brush his lips against the underside of Harry’s jaw who shudders and noses against Louis hairline.

 

“I love you too,” Harry says quickly before Louis can continue, “So much.” Their silent against for a long time and Louis looks over at Preston, whose tiny chest continuously moves up and down, the breathing tube pulling on his mouth a little. His little hand is swollen up from the IV tube, turning black around the spot they had put it in. The doctors had insisted it was normal, and it was just because he was so sensitive to the needles being so young.  Louis heart clenches tightly and he looks away not being able to look long at his baby looking so worn.

 

“Jeff and I met at Tesco’s,” Louis finally says startling Harry. “We were both looking for the same brand of milk, and I had just gotten the neighbors to watch the kids and I was so nervous about leaving them alone. After you left it was hard for me to let them out of my sight…maybe it’s a bit silly but they were all I had and I couldn’t stand the thought of them going too.” He shushes Harry as he opens his mouth to try to apologize, “Anyways, the idiot they sent back there to check if they had any in the backroom was taking ages and Jeff and I started talking. I found out he had just gotten out of a really bad relationship, and it had been a year since you but I never quite moved on. Eventually he invited me for coffee and it was so nice to have some adult company.

 

I was really lonely after you’d left and Jeff never talked about toy trains or made me rock the baby dolls to sleep. It was nice to just have someone there who I could talk to about things happening in the world.” Louis sighed softly while playing with Harry’s finger tips, “The more time I spent with him the more convenient he became. He liked to help around the house with the kids, and he took us out for meals, he cleaned up after himself. Everything. He was just a really decent bloke and he made- _makes_ \- it easy to be around him. He cares so much for us, you know? Even you.” He adds as an afterthought,

 

“But every time I’m with him I just keep thinking of you. I’ve spent an entire year of my life comparing him to you. The way he washes the dishes, or helps the kids brush their teeth. Shit, I even compare the way you two watch the telly and every single time I always find myself wishing it was you instead of him. Every. Goddamn. Time.” He sounds bitter, “I spent so long trying to move on from you. God, Hazza, I wanted to hate you _so much_. I wanted to find someone who wouldn’t hurt me, and who I wouldn’t hurt but I couldn’t because they weren’t you. Not a single person I met has ever come close to being you.” Harry begins shifting behind him, and then Louis is turned around so their chests are pressed together, being held onto the couch by Harry’s strong arms only. When their eyes meet they kiss neither quite sure who lead who.

 

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Harry breathes against Louis mouth, nipping at his lower lip.

 

“I guess,” Louis murmurs back to him flicking his tongue against the roof of Harry’s mouth. The two continue to kiss, their tongues melding together, teeth nipping at each others upper and lower lips, moans spilling out in between as their hips begin to rut against each other. Harry pulls back suddenly and smiles sweetly at Louis’ moan, both eyes looking heavy.

 

“You know why I can’t get over you and you can’t get over me? Because we’re soulmates.” Harry tells him seriously, “You’re always going to be mine and I’m always going to be yours and nobody is ever going to change that. We may have found people and tried but babe, that’s why I can’t fuck anyone else face to face. I can’t kiss anyone else. Not if they aren’t you.” He looks so serious that Louis isn’t sure he is hearing himself correctly. His Harry hasn’t kissed anyone but him? Surely that couldn’t be true.

 

“You’ve not kissed anyone since me?” He asked in awe, brushing a curl out of Harry’s damp eyes.

 

“No. Not a single pair of lips have been on mine since you kissed them when I was 16-years-old. Nobody else but you.” Eyes masking over with possessiveness Louis turns them so he’s straddling Harry’s waist and he desperately kisses him. Their lips barely move together as Louis sucks greedily on Harry’s tongue, breathing ragged when he pulls back long enough to lick a quick stripe up Harry’s pale neck, biting hungrily against it.

 

“Nobody is ever going to kiss you, either.” Louis states seriously with his pupils full blown, “Not a single person will ever touch you like that. Nobody.” He punctuates each word with a bite to the collar bone and a slow grind of his hips. Harry tosses his head back and moans loudly, the head of his cock peaking out of the waistband of his pants with a spurt of pre-cum emanating from the almost purple tip.

 

“Baby,” Harry chokes out, “Baby…we can’t have sex in here. I want you so bad but we need to calm down.” Louis looks down at the younger boy, shirt rucked up and curls splayed out behind him, cheeks flushed. He whimpers slightly as his hips continue to rock against his own will.

 

“Can’t stop,” He admits and brings a hand from where it’s clenched around Harry’s bicep to squeeze himself through his pants, he gives a ragged moan with his eyes falling shut. A few more squeezes and then he feels Harry begin to rut up against him, loudly panting.

 

“You trying to kill me?” Harry asks and catches Louis lips in another kiss. Carefully Harry wraps his arms underneath Louis’ bum and stands them up, burying his face in Louis shoulder as he walks them towards the bathroom. “Gotta touch you,” He confesses with his cheeks stained red, “Have to touch you but couldn’t with Preston in there…” Harry locks the door behind them with great difficulty trying not to drop Louis. Louis let’s out a wild laugh and drives his hips forward towards his estranged husband, who let’s out a low grown as his jeans rub up against the sensitive tip of his penis.

 

“Fuck me,” Louis begs suddenly as Harry drops both legs to the floor and rubbing a thigh in between them, sucking on Louis’ neck as he unbuttons his pants pulling them to the middle of his thighs. “Oh Harry please…want you to so bad…want you to make love to me.” Louis hands fly into the mass of curls Harry hadn’t bothered to style in days, as the cool air of the bathroom hit his dick. Harry moans loudly against Louis’ neck and licks a wet stripe against his palm as he begins to shakily jerk Louis from base to head, sliding his finger underneath Louis foreskin to be sure he rubbed the entire tip. Louis let’s out a loud moan, almost exaggerated, and Harry revels in the memories of getting his boy to sound like that.

 

“Am I the only one?” He asks gruffly pushing his own hips against Louis side, “Am I the only one who can make you moan like this?” Louis’ hips stutter as he follows Harry’s hand up and he looks him in the eye, half masted as he licks his lips.

 

“Only one,” He breathes, “Ohh…please right there. _Yess,_ ” He grits out as Harry tightens his hold and takes his free hand to reach beneath Louis’ sack to rub at his premium. Harry’s eyes widen in amazement as Louis chest begins to flush beneath the v-neck and his eyes tear up from pleasure, babbling ‘oh please’ and ‘Harry’ over and over again.

 

Without warning, Harry pulls back from Louis who gives a broken moan sobbing out his name in desperation, “Harry please don’t stop please, I’ll do anything to get you to keep going please touch me. Let me suck you, if you want me to I will please don’t stop why did you stop? I need you please, please, please,” But his pleas are cut off with Harry’s lips kissing him roughly, almost bruising the older boy, as he wiggles his own jeans down to mid-thigh.

 

“Baby, saw this in a porno once…wanna try it with you so badly,” He groans out hoping he doesn’t sound ridiculous and slowly pushes the hood of Louis foreskin back, who drops his head on Harry’s shoulder to watch with wide eyes.

 

“Wh…what are you doing?” He asks him, biting back a groan as Harry snuggly settles his own penis on top of Louis.

 

“Just watch beautiful,” He breathes as he lifts Louis foreskin carefully and begins to stretch it out over his own penis. Louis gasps lightly at the odd sensation, not enough to hurt yet not sure if he quite likes the feeling either but, “Oh Lou,” Comes out of Harry’s mouth as he quickly coats his left hand in spit and then reaches down to stroke over top of their now joint cocks and the two loudly groan.  Louis hips jerk forward almost instantaneously as a he lets out a high pitched whimper.

 

“God, I…” His jaw drops as they slide together in a slow burn, and he turns his head to the side to let Harry lick and nibble against the spot right below his ear. “Feels so…oh Harry…you feel so good baby,” He’s babbling now unable to control himself and when has he ever been able to control himself when it came to that curly haired boy? “Feels so amazing, never felt like this. You always make me feel so good, I love it when you touch me nobody ever touches me like you do. I love it, I love you, please, please, please. Need to cum baby, please make me.” He’s begging shamelessly now, he can feel the muscles his bum clenching in effort not to cum, and Louis can feel Harry’s whimpering and ragged breathing in his ear. All he can do is feel, feel, _feel,_ and everything is so sensitive.

 

“God, Lou shut up please. Gonna make me cum if you keep talking to me like that, you know? You’re making me insane, baby, you’re driving me nuts. Look so goddamn sexy with your legs all spread for me and cock so hard for me, baby yeah. Is it for me? You’re hard for me?” He knows it yet his whole body needs, craves, wants Louis say it.

 

“Always for you, only for you, just need you.” Louis clenching his fingers into Harry’s shoulders now, angry red marks forming on the freckled skin.

 

“Oh God,” Harry groans out loudly, “Jesus. Gonna…babe.” He quickly pulls himself out and lines them up next to each other and it’s only a few more strokes before he’s cumming all over Louis’ stomach and then Louis jerking under him as he coats Harry’s groin. “Lou,” He breathes tiredly, “Love you,” He laughs giddily and kisses the boys strawberry colored bow, lips raw, smiling at Louis blissed out face.

 

“Love you,” Louis says and stands still as Harry cleans them both up. Once they’ve both been cleaned up and their pants back on they head back out to the hospital room where Preston still lay unmoving. Louis goes forward first leaning down and giving their baby a few kisses to his forehead, and then moving over so Harry could follow in his footsteps. “Love you baby,” The both whisper and then look at each other before mouthing the same words and setting onto the couch for a goodnights sleep.

 

The first thing Harry hears when he wakes up is the beeping. Yet something about the beeping was different, and not the normal sound of Preston’s heart monitor but a loud and high pitched ringing. Sitting up suddenly, moving Louis out of his arms he looks over at the bed in time to see Preston’s body jerking on the table, small limbs flailing in the air, face contorted as his eyes roll back into his head. “Lou,” Harry shrieks as he sits up and runs over to the bed pressing the emergency call button, “Lou get up. Something’s wrong!” His whole body is on fire as he helplessly tries to hold his son down and turning towards the door, “Help!” He screams and he feels hot tears flood up into his eyes, voice hardly traveling towards the door. “Please, someone, help!” He tries again but not reaching anything over a hoarse whisper.

 

Just then Dr. Rickinson, Janice, and a few more doctors come rushing in and immediately begin to push Harry out of the way. The next thing he knows he’s next to Louis who’s screaming and trying to grab for the table, desperately shouting at someone to tell them what’s going on. Trying to regain his composure Harry wraps his arms tightly around Louis, pinning his scrambling arms to his side. “Love,” He says into Louis’ ear, trying to ignore his own voice shaking, “Love. Shh. They’ve got him, it’s okay. Stay with me,” He tries so hard to comfort.

 

Louis can’t feel anything, can hardly hear Harry’s voice over the roaring in his own ears. The roaring, he realizes, is his own anguished screams and heart as he desperately runs towards the bed to get to Preston, but Harry’s arms keep him securely away. “Let me get to him, Harry,” He begs his mind insane with fear as he desperately wiggles to get out of Harry’s arms. “I need to get to Preston, Harry, get off me,” He begs, his body wracks with sobs as Dr. Rickinson pulls out the child sized AED and begins to attach them to Preston’s now still body, yelling out a booming, “Clear,” as they press a button and shocks jolt through his sons body (his tiny, itty bitty, baby’s chest).

 

“Stop please, don’t hurt him, please don’t hurt him. He’s only three, please, he doesn’t even like it when you hug him too tight, you’ve got to be careful,” Louis is rambling insanely as the nurses avoid his crazed eyes.

 

 _Please, please, please,_ Louis’ mind chants as he looks on to the scene, _please, God, don’t let my son die_. He isn’t standing here watching his son die. He _isn’t_ going to stand here and look at his son dying. With that thought in mind, he leaps forward again only to be stopped (again) by Harry who tucks him safely under his chin and at the nurses warning, dragging a screaming Louis from the room.

 

“Harry, how the fuck are you just standing here?” Louis shrieks and smacks his hands against Harry’s broad chest, pounding heavily. “How can you bring me out here? My baby _needs_ me. Preston needs me. He’s in there by himself Harry, I need to get to him, he’s scared, Haz.  I can feel how scared he is. He needs me, my baby…” And slowly his  pounding stops, voice dying out as he crumples against Harry’s chest, “My baby needs me.” He says helplessly, ignoring the stares of other parents in the ward as they peak their heads out to see what the commotion is about. “He needs me,” He says brokenly. On the top Louis’ head he can feel the tear drops from Harry’s own eyes as he rubs his warm hands up and down Louis’ back and shushes him.

 

“I’m here,” Harry whispers, “I’m here, love.”

 

Within the hospital room, the beeping has stopped completely, and they hear Dr. Rickinsons quiet voice as he calls out, “I’m calling it. Time of death 2:06 AM.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm so sorry it's so sad. Hope I updated in a timely fashion! Hope you guys enjoyed it as well, and let me know how you felt in a comment :).


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Hope you like it and hope I didn't take to long to update! I'll be adding an epilogue to this story so I hope you all stick around to read it :)! Love you guys so much!
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: There is a sex scene in here.

_I look to the sea,_

_Reflections in the waves spark my memory,_

_Some happy, some sad,_

_I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had,_

**The** **Styx**

**Chapter 6: Come Sail Away**

Dr. Rickinson exits the room first and he walks slowly over the where Harry and Louis are standing looking shocked at the tired looking man. “Mr. Stylinson,” He says and he’s looking at Louis who’s shaking his head and trying to bury his face into Harry’s chest.

 

“Don’t say it,” Louis says hoarsely, “I can’t stand it if you say it. Please…just…don’t say it.” His voice cracks hysterically as he cries through his pleading.

“Mr. Stylinson, we are so sorry. We did everything we could, but there wasn’t anymore we could do. It appears that he had a stroke, though we cannot be sure until we’ve preformed an autopsy.” At the final words, Louis let’s out an anguished scream and Harry bows his head, the entire hallway having fallen silent. “We usually, uhm,” Dr. Rickinson clears his throat, for once at a loss for words, “We usually give them a bath after.”

 

Without thinking Harry implores, “Can we do it? Can…is it okay if we do it?” There are no tears coming from his eyes, the reality of the situation hardly sitting in, because nothing about this situation feels real. He’s still dreaming, asleep on that uncomfortable couch with Louis’ elbow digging into him as he subconsciously listens to the reassuring beeps.

 

“Yes, of course.” Dr. Rickinson says softly, “Janice is still in there. She can help you with anything you need.” _Except bringing your son back,_ is left unsaid. With that information, he takes Preston’s chart from the door and wanders down the hallway and both parents try to ignore the tell tale shaking of his shoulders.

 

“Come on love,” Harry quickly kisses Louis’ forehead, “Let’s go baby,” As gently as he can he pulls Louis into the hospital room where Janice is slowly removing the equipment from around Preston, and Louis let’s out another anguished scream at the stiff body on the table.

 

“ _No,_ ” He shrieks as Janice quickly hands Harry the flannel and container, “This can’t be…not Preston…no,” Louis’ entire body is trembling and Harry desperately tries to balance the washing bin and his long time lover.

 

“Louis,” He whispers, “Lou, breathe with me. Come on…I…” His voice cracks as they approach the pale boy on the table, his thick lashes framing his stone face. The couple stands blankly staring listening to Louis’ sobbing before Harry feels tugging on his busied hands and Louis is holding the container in one trembling hand with the flannel bunched in the other. He walks forward with his brow furrowed mouth set in a firm line muffling the sounds of his weeping. Carefully he pushes away the hospital gown from Preston’s shoulders and dips the flannel inside as he begins to gently wash the now naked arm of their youngest son.

 

“You are my sunshine,” He sings softly focusing in on the one spot, “My only sunshine, you…” Louis let’s out a choked sob as he buries his face into Preston’s hair planting kisses where his lips meet Preston’s tiny ears. Harry stands devastated as Louis lets out gutwrenching sobs clinging to the boy, and soothingly steps forward in order to take the bathing equipment from Louis.

 

“Can I?” He asks Louis softly with one hand, warm, on Louis back. Louis only response is a jerk of the head but he does not let go of Preston’s body continuing to mumble and kiss along his stiff face. Harry moves methodically as he begins to wash Preston’s pudgy belly, and as soon as the flannel touches the skin he lets out a choking sob. “Fuck,” He whispers desperately. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK.” He starts to scream and let’s the container fall onto the floor, the wash cloth settled on his baby’s belly as he howls. “This is bullshit. Complete and utter horseshit! They didn’t do shit for him, if they did something for him he wouldn’t be fucking dead. My three-year-old wouldn’t be dead,” He yells angrily as he continues to grieve the snot and tears mixing on the neckline of his shirt. “It isn’t fucking fair. Who lets a three-year-old die? Who lets this happen?” With that he lets himself collapse against Preston’s legs as he too kisses every inch that he could reach.

 

It’s somewhat of a shock when he feels a tickle against his cheek and he swats the blanket for disrupting his mourning. Yet again, however, another twitch hits his cheek and he looks down at Preston’s toes which are twitching madly.

 

“Louis,” He says his voice a hoarse whisper, “Louis. Preston’s toes are moving.”

 

“What?” Louis’ head snaps up and the two back away in awe as Preston’s entire foot begins to wiggle and his eyelashes start fluttering. Suddenly, as if he was having the life stabbed back into him, Preston’s chest reaches up towards the ceiling and he heaves a great whooping cough as his eyes fly open wildly. Harry and Louis stand in shock with each other as they stare at the little boy who stares back at them and then bursts into tears.

 

“Daddy,” He croaks weakly and immediately Louis is rushing forward and scooping up the little boy, cradling him close to his chest, crying heavily as he rocks him.

 

“Preston,” He repeats as he presses kisses all over his son’s  body and then turns to Harry with bright, wet, and wild eyes, “Go…Dr. Rickinson…we should…go get him.” With that Harry runs down the hallway screaming Dr. Rickinsons name and ignoring the glares from the nurses, the sound of Louis happy cooing fading quietly.

 

“Dr. Rickinson.” Harry pounds on the door until the gray haired man appears with a furrowed brow.

“Mr. Stylinson is there anything I can do for you?” He looks tired as he puts on his glasses and opens the door more.

 

Harry’s chest is heaving up and down as he pants to catch his breath and imagines his little boy in the room down the hallway smiling, breathing, laughing, awake. His baby is _alive._ It was as if the world that had been so cruelly ripped out from under him was crashing back into his heart and the adrenaline had him shaking. “It’s Preston,” He pants

 

“Ah…yes…are you here to make arrangements?” He asks motioning to the seat across the desk,

 

“No!” Harry shouts loudly, with an empathetic shake of his head, “No. No hell no. Preston is awake.” He says with a serious expression and Dr. Rickinson stops fiddling with the paperwork and sharply turns.

 

“Excuse me?” He asks, “Mr. Stylinson I know you and your husband are suffering from extreme grief which is understandable considering the circumstances but…I’m so sorry to have to remind you that when I left him his heart was not beating.” He clears his throat uncomfortably and shakes his head.

 

Harry stands awkwardly between the hallway and the office as he rocks on his feet with a worried expression. He hadn’t imagined his little baby awake, had he? But no, no it couldn’t be like that because Preston was snuggled into Louis’ arms and his. Son. Is. Awake. “Dr. Rickinson, with all due respect, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but my son is fucking awake and if you do not get your fat ass up and go check on him I will sue you and this hospital for everything you are worth.” With that he turns on his heels and runs back down the hallway smiling when he hears laughter and Louis talking to Janice as she goes over Preston’s vitals.

 

“Look there’s papa!” Louis is sat on the hospital bed with Preston in his lap rubbing his belly gently as Janice prepares the tube to take a vile of blood. “Say hi papa,” Louis smile is so large Harry is sure his entire face is about to split open. It’s the happiest he’d seen him since the day Darcy and the twins were born.

 

“Hi baby,” Harry says weakly as he walks forward trembling, “Can I have a kiss?” He asks not quite believing his son was there and talking until he touches the warm plump of his cheek. Leaning down, and trying to stay out of Janice’s way as she rubs a swab on the inside of Preston’s arm, he kisses Preston’s face until the two are laughing and Harry is crying again but this time tears of joy.

 

A knock on the door startles the family out of their joyous reunion and Dr. Rickinson stands looking shocked at the almost healthy little boy still sat cuddled into his father’s chest. “I guess I owe you an apology,” Dr. Rickinson says and Harry stands up looking sheepish.

 

“I guess I could say the same for myself.” He admits softly and the two reach forward in unison to quickly shake hands.

 

“I’m going to need to run some tests on Preston,” Dr. Rickinson explains carefully, “We just need to make sure everything is okay…and try to find out how the hell this happened. I would like to keep him in observation for the next two or three days until I know for certain he can be released.” Dr. Rickinson explains to the couple who both nod their consent.

 

Two hours later, Dr. Rickinson has run every test that he could think of as well as take blood from Preston to go for testing to see if there are any other problems. Finally, the team of nurses and Dr. Rickinson himself come out of the hotel room and both parents sit up straight as they walk up.

 

“It’s very strange…” Dr. Rickinson begins, “I can’t seem to figure it out. There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with him. The asthma is still in place but any signs of the coma and him dying are not showing up. I’ve never seen a case like this.” He shakes his head seemingly mystified but the miraculous recovery. “Someone must be watching over him,” He smiles and shakes both of their hands as they stand and cross the threshold to the room where Preston lay sleeping, a heart monitor back on him safely.

 

“Hi bub,” Louis says sweetly to the sleeping boy, “I love you.” He whispers with a kiss to the head.

 

Harry takes the other side of Preston and he too kisses his warm (so, so, warm) head and whispers an, “I love you.” To let Preston know he was there. “Tired, babe?” He asks Louis who has pulled a chair up to the side of Preston’s bed and is now fussing with the blankets surrounding the little boy.

 

“Little bit, yeah. Couldn’t sleep though.” He says not taking his eyes away from Preston. "Don't ever want to turn away from him again." Harry hums in agreement.

 

“Crazy, innit?” Harry whispers and comes behind Louis to slowly rub at his shoulders, feeling them release tension under the touch. “Absolutely surreal that this even happened, I can’t believe we are so lucky.” He thinks about the little girl across the hall who is paralyzed from cancer and only has a month to live, and the boy who had died three days ago during the night. But mostly, he thinks of the parents anguished screams as they told the news and removed the body. How those little kids are not coming back. How he was granted the greatest miracle of all; to see Preston’s eyes open one more time. To hear Preston’s voice squeak, “I love you papa,” with a kiss to the cheek.

 

“He’s our miracle baby.” Louis admits softy now stroking Preston’s cheek.

 

“Yeah,” Harry says and he tilts Louis chin towards him, “I love you.” He says seriously and nudges their lips together feeling Louis smile through it.

 

“I love you,” Louis says just as quietly and the two settle in watching Preston sleep.

 

Two days later, Preston is free from the hospital and they’ve bundled him up into the car after many tearful goodbyes. As they hit the crisp winter air Harry can’t help but tighten his hold on Preston and send another thanks above that Preston still has many more days of cool air to feel on his cheeks again.

 

When they come into the house they are immediately greeted by Darcy and Patrick, both starved for their parent’s affection and attention. After numerous kisses and hugs between the group and an awkward hug between Jeff and Louis (Louis turning his head to catch Jeff’s kiss on his cheek) the family plus Jeff settle into the living room to talk about the situation. “Darcy and Patrick,” Louis says seriously to both of them, “I want you to remember to be gentle with Preston. He’s still not feeling to good so no playing to hard. Understood?” All three kids nod and Patrick tightens his hold around his brothers neck and gives his father an important nod.

 

“Yes,” Patrick says, “I’m going to be his watcher. I will watch over him all day!” With that he tugs on Preston’s arm and babbles away about a new batman toy that grandmum had sent both of them in the post tugging him up the stairs. Darcy looks worriedly at Louis and clutches the armrest of the couch tensely.

 

“Is he going to have to go back?” She nervously titters, “If he stops breathing?”

 

“Baby,” Harry says softly to her, “That was very rare to happen to Preston.” He pulls her into his lap and gives her a tight squeeze, “But if he ever gets sick like that again we will bring him right back to Dr. Rickinson so he can patch him right back up." She nods thoughtfully but still twists around to check for conformation from Louis.

 

“He’s going to be fine, sweetheart,” Louis assures, “He just needs to rest up. He’s very tired from all the silly doctor testing. He’s going to be just fine though!” With that she kisses Harry on the cheek then squirms down to do the same to Louis before running up after her brothers asking if she can come play.

 

The trio now sits in silence and Louis let’s out a huff of air scrubbing his face and coming up with red-rimmed eyes. Instinctively both Harry and Jeff reach for him, Harry getting there first being closer to the crying man in the chair next to the couch. At Jeff’s confused glare, however, he immediately releases Louis and pulls his lips away from his ear. Clearing his throat he gestures to the kitchen and says, “I’ll go fix you some tea, love.” And he wants to hit himself for letting the pet name slip out so easily and rushes off to do so.

 

From the kitchen he can hear the halted conversation and voices but keeps his back turned from the couple fighting. Instead, he quickly puts on a pot of water to boil noting it was almost five p.m. and they still had not started dinner. As he methodically chops tenderloin he finds thawing out in the refrigerator Jeff comes in and coughs to make his presence known. “Tea ready?” He asks as Harry jumps and nods towards the kettle warmed on the stove.

 

“Yeah just over there,” He avoids Jeff’s accusing gaze as he finds the mugs and makes two cups of tea (Yorkshire, Louis’ favorite) before walking back out into the living room.

 

Harry finds the kids upstairs, the boys room now chaotic with legos and honestly he is going to have to clean all of it up later, dragging them back down to eat their spaghetti with meat sauce and pokes his head into the living room.

 

Both men are sat on the couch and Louis is hunched forward as Jeff rubs his back and their heads are bent together. Harry tries not to let the jealousy he feels flash through him get the best of him but he can’t help the snippiness in his voice when he says, “Dinner is on the table. Come when you’re done.” And the sharp turn of his heel as he stomps into the kitchen. At the table, Darcy is attempting to teach her brothers (mainly Patrick) how to _properly_ twirl their spaghetti but all three just smearing the sauce across the table.

 

“Piloposaurs don’t eat with forks, papa.” Patrick says seriously and then nudges Preston in the matching blue booster seat next to him, “We eat with our teeths!” With that he flings his fork across the table, landing in Darcy’s bowl, and drops his face forward into the red sauce. The bib snug around his neck inconviently does not protect all of the young boys shirt from staining.

 

“Oh lord, Patrick.” Harry snaps and pulls his son’s face up out of the food, “Honestly. Quit messing around you need to eat your food.” And he tries to ignore the hurt expression on Patrick’s little face as he forcefully wipes the noodles away from his rambunctious sons face.

 

“I’m just a piloposaurs.” He says quietly

 

“Yeah,” Preston pipes up, never one to talk back, “He was just being a piloposaurs, papa.” Harry sighs and sits back down in his seat at the now awkward table.

 

“Well he can be a piloposaurs later. Right now I just want him to be Patrick.” He forces a smile and they finish eating in silence.

 

After he’s cleared the table and bathed both Patrick and Preston, being sure that Darcy has rinsed all the shampoo and conditioner from her hair in her own shower, he tucks the boys into bed with quick kisses and flips their nightlight on before moving down the hall to Darcy’s room but not before spying Jeff and Louis now stood tensely near the front door. As he lays in bed with Darcy and has her read her book allowed to him, he can hear the front door slam and then stomps up the steps and another click close. She turns to him with concern in her eyes and, “Daddy?” She asks sadly and he gives her a nod.

 

“Seems like it. Probably just sleepy just like you should be princess.” He hates how his little girl is so mature. Harry would do anything to give her the piece of mind a six-year-old should be having, and not worrying about whether her fathers are going to go off in another fight, and if she’ll wake up again with just one of them to tuck her in. “Everything is okay,” He promises and locks their pinkies together. “Goodnight my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, princess.” She scrunches her nose at his sentiments but follows through with,

 

“Goodnight my curly, funny, wonderful, papa.” And he clicks her door closed and peeks his head into the boys room to assure that they are both asleep, smiling at the fact that Patrick had crawled into Preston’s bed and lined the outside of it with stuffed animals and action figures, even Preston’s dolls lined up to guard off any intruders.

 

As he makes his way to Louis’ room he tries not to let the butterflies in his stomach control his emotions and reminds himself that no matter what happened in the hospital, Louis was home and it was possible he might break Harry’s heart. He hoped, though, that whatever had happened between them in the previous week and a half had made as much an impact on Lou as it had on him. He knocks in three quick sessions before pushing the door open to see Louis laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling in a pair of tight, black, briefs, and a thin white t-shirt. “Hi,” Louis says not even turning and his voice sounds tight which Harry recognizes as his trying-not-to-cry voice.

 

“You and Jeff okay?” Harry can’t help this jealousy, really.

 

“We broke up,” Louis admits and with that thrown out he curls in on himself and let’s out a soft cry. “He told me that he’s always been second best, he’s always going to be second best and he’s finally realizing he just can’t be second best.” Harry’s there in an instant spooning up behind Louis and whispering soft shushing noises.

 

“Is he?” Harry asks him after Louis has calmed down and cuddled into Harry’s chest, one hand tangled into the back of Harry’s curls and the other resting on their hips interlocking their fingers.

 

“Yeah,” Louis breathes out nudging their noses together, “How could you even ask?” And Harry kisses him. Their lips glide together instantly and Harry pushes his hands up under Louis t-shirt to run across his stomach and pushes their hips together, rolling onto his back to let Louis come on top of him never breaking their kiss.

 

“Baby,” He awes as Louis quickly pulls his own shirt off and then reaches and tugs on Harry’s as he pulls his own off. “You’re so beautiful,” He admits softly his eyes shining and squeezes Louis hips. “God, more beautiful than the first time I saw you.” He shakes his head as Louis ducks his head shyly.

 

“Hazza,” He whispers, “Not beautiful. Not like you.” He brushes Harry’s curls away and locks their lips together as their tongues smooth across each other, tasting every inch of each other. Harry doesn’t even realize how turned on he is until Louis his scratching a hand across his nipple and his back arches up as he let’s a moan rip through his mouth.

 

“Lou, gotta…” He struggles as he pops the button off his jeans and rolls until Louis is flat on his back and he is on top rolling their hips together and using one free hand to push his pants and jeans off and the other to urge Louis to wrap his legs around his waist.

 

“Harry,” Louis breathes as Harry begins to nip and suck on his neck, sucking harder on a particular spot to lay claim to the tanned skin. _Mine, mine, mine,_ his mind repeats like a mantra. “Ah, God…Harry,” He begs as his clothed dick strains through the briefs catching Harry’s stomach and the cloth. Harry helps him wiggle the material away and they both sigh in relief as their hips collide frantically and Harry can’t help but feel all of fourteen again, afraid of cumming this early. “Make love to me,” It’s said so quietly Harry almost misses it but his hips stutter and he has to picture his mum naked to keep himself from finishing right there.

 

“God,” He gaps, “ _God,_ Lou you have no idea what you do to me.” But he’s reaching into the drawer and feeling for the lubricant only to realize there’s none there. “Babe,” He asks confusedly, “There’s…nothing?” Louis blushes prettily on his cheeks.

 

“Jeff…and I…we uh…we never actually had sex. Just messed around a bit,” Causing Harry to moan loudly at the idea of being the only person who had been inside Louis. “There’s some in the bathroom closet,” Harry’s never run faster in his life ignoring the painful bobbing between his legs as he finds the lubricant and rushes back over to the bed only to find Louis with his legs spread wide, hair matted to his forehead, and hand lazily palming himself with his pink tongue wetting his lips.

 

“C’mere,” Louis whispers wantonly pushing himself up on his elbow and Harry obeys uncapping the lube and coating his fingers liberally as he shakily runs one around the outside of Louis rim causing Louis to let out a moan.

 

“Okay?” Harry asks breathlessly and it’s like their first time all over again.

 

“Okay.” Louis confirms and Harry buries his face in Louis’ neck at the tightness that surrounds his finger as he pushes it in and out slowly whimpering with Louis. Soon, he’s stretching three fingers and Louis feet are planted firmly on the ground and his hips are frantic unsure whether he wants to push down or pull away from the fullness inside of him. “Need you, Harry please.” He begs, “God, need your dick, need you to fuck me.”

 

“No,” Harry says sharply and digs straight at Louis’ prostate causing him to let out an elongated moan, eyes wet with pleasure. “You know better,” Harry says hoarsely his own eyes dark with desire causing Louis to cry out as they lock together.

 

“Yeah,” He breathes sweetly, “Make love to me, _please._ ” And how is Harry supposed to wait any longer as he coats himself liberally and positions himself at Louis hole.

 

“I love you,” He cups Louis face with one hand, “Never forget that.” Louis shakes his head and locks his arms around Harry’s neck.

 

“I love you,” He admits and their lips meet as Harry presses inside. It’s as if they are alive the only sound either of them is able to hear is the thumping of their blood and the mixture of grunts as Harry changes position and strikes Louis prostate head on.

 

“Not gonna last,” Harry breathes but never takes his eyes away from Louis as their noses brush up and down frantically. “So tight around me, baby, feel so good.” He wants to tell Louis more but he physically can’t so caught up with emotion of how good it feels to be this close to his baby again.

 

“Me either,” Louis stutters out breathless as he rubs their noses together adoringly. “Cum for me Hazza?” He asks softly and Harry whines softly feeling his eyes closing tight from the pleasure but not wanting to look away from the dancing gems inches from his own. He pounds his hips harder and uses his hands to angle Louis’ own hips up and Louis throws his head back in surprise as he spurts out his release on a particularly rough thrust and Harry follows soon after burying his face into Louis’ neck as he finishes.

 

“I love you,” They say in unison and laugh as Harry pulls out and on shakey legs wets a flannel to clean both of them up the best he can before pressing up against an already sleeping Louis.

 

“Be mine forever?” Harry whispers into the dark as they spoon and he almost doesn’t hear Louis quiet,

 

“Already am.” Before both fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was okay...! I got the idea from the boy who went to Heaven. It's a book about a little boy who dies but comes back to life and is based on a true story...it's pretty interesting to hear about. I read around a little and there have been a few cases of people "dying" then suddenly coming back so while pretty are it can happen. Hope you guys still like it!! 
> 
> Please review and be sure to catch the epilogue!


	7. Chapter Seven: Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry it took so long but I just finished up all my school finals and got back home so I didn't have much time to write. 
> 
> 1\. I just wanted to say thank you to every single person who read, commented, and/or left kudos. It really meant so much and every one of you has inspired me to keep writing! I love you all and I hope that you loved this story as much as I did. 
> 
> 2\. I'm very sad it is over, but I hope that I'll finish up some other one shots that I've started writing!
> 
> 3\. When you read this chapter you could try listening to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FBKa-bCasY
> 
> 4\. The video idea was inspired from this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b1TntQ1cLU (WARNING: You will cry. It's about a little boy who battled cancer. He had not yet passed away when this video was created, but did so last October. If you want to read his story it is here: www.superty.org and you can donate to his foundation. Ty is truly a super boy).
> 
> 5\. I hope you enjoy this one. Again thank you and I love you!

_I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,_  
They'll learn much more  
Than we'll know  
And I think to myself  
What a wonderful world world

**\--** **Israel** **Kamakawiwo'ole**

****

**Chapter 7: Epilogue**

“Pretson, careful!” Louis calls worriedly after the little boy chasing after Patrick in the yard behind the house, Harry watching from the glass door having just gotten off the phone with his management team. The tour for Breathe Easy was to start in a week but with Preston still going into the hospital for regular check-ups (even almost a year later), to see if his lungs were still healing naturally, Harry did not want, was not ready, to leave Louis to deal with the stress on his own.

 

They had agreed that the mini UK tour for Breathe Easy would be postponed to an indefinite time and Harry could let them know when he was ready to return. He was happy that his team took it so well, but reminded himself that this was not Modest management he was under and the restrictions he grew up so used to had mostly been lifted. No more hiding his relationship, no hiding the kids, and no being overworked to the point of a mental breakdown.

 

Smiling, he slides the door open and sneaks up behind Louis wrapping his arms around his waist and playing nipping at Louis’ tanned neck causing him to jump and then relax immediately into Harry’s embrace.

 

“Anything good?” He asks preparing himself for the worse.

 

“They said let them know when I’m ready to start it up again, but try not to wait longer than a few months. The fans get really anxious…” But both men smile and share a quick kiss that seals an I love you. They stand in silence as they watch Darcy run into her play house and wave at the boys as they storm past Patrick making helicopter noises and Preston stopping to grab a fake tea cup that Darcy passes through the window. “I was thinking I might do some kind of video with the kids for the fans so they could understand what’s going on. I know there’s been a lot of speculation about it, and I’ve not mentioned it much in interviews. I feel like I owe an explanation for why I’m postponing this tour. What do you think?” Harry’s voice is quiet as they sway gently eyes both surveying the yard.

 

“I think that isn’t a bad idea,” Louis admits, “It’ll probably be better than letting a gossip magazine get hold of it anyways. They like to twist things.” Which they both became familiar with all to well when One Direction had broken up and most of the blame had been placed on rumors of their coming out, instead of the truthful reason that the fans had just slowly began to lose interest. Though both men had publicly admitted to having a relationship, they had both agreed to keeping the kids out of the spotlight and had only briefly been mentioned in small articles about their new additions.

 

Harry occasionally spoke of them in interviews, and rarely spoke of Louis (especially after The Dark Period as they referred to their break up), and had only mentioned Preston’s stay in the hospital not putting much emphasis on the true reason why his son had spent so much time away. Before both he and Louis agreed that it was no one’s business but family and close friends yet now with the tour postponed Harry could not help but feel that his fans deserved to know exactly why it would not start for it’s scheduled date.

 

“I love you,” Harry says softly as he squeezes Louis’ hips who pops an eyebrow at him but smiles regardless.

 

“What’s that for?” He asks.

 

“Just thinking how lucky I am to have you,” Harry admits

 

“Well, I love you too.” Louis smiles and kisses him.

**Lindsey’s POV:**

Though One Direction had ended before she had even reached legal age, Lindsey had continuously followed her favorite boybanders whereabouts and fallen just as madly in love with Breathe Easy as she had with One Direction. Disappointed in the alert in her uni e-mail saying their UK tour had been postponed until further notice she logins into her tumblr and begins to scroll through her dashboard. Her mind has become almost numb with the glowing page as she zones out and hits the reblog hardly paying attention to what she is clicking when she sees a video with comments underneath saying, “Made me cry!” and, “Changed my life forever.” finally, “Not a fan of Breathe Easy but this little boy stole my heart!” Curiously, she clicks watch on youtube and see’s it’s from Harry Styles, now changed to Stylinson she reminds herself, page and expands the video hitting play.

 

Immediately Harry shows up with two identical boys sat in his lap and a little girl standing next to him as they all smile into the camera. “Ehm hey,” Harry says and he smiles nervously at the camera, “Most of you know me as Harry from Breathe Easy, and maybe a few of you remember me from One Direction.” The one boy with the narrower face fidgets in the seat before shouting to someone off screen if he can have some juice in the green cup, “And most of you know that I married the love of my life, and we’ve had a few kids,” and all three little ones wave excitedly into the camera yelling hi as Harry laughs and shushes them. “Recently, I had to postpone the upcoming tour for Breathe Easy, and I’m making this video to explain to all my wonderful fans why I will not be able to attend,”

 

With that the video cuts to the younger looking twin with a much rounder face and Lindsey can hear Harry’s prompting in the background, “What’s your name, love?” He asks.

 

“Preston,” And Preston gives a toothy grin his eyes aimed above the camera,

 

“Very good, and how old are you Preston?” Harry asks and Preston holds up three fingers, “How many fingers is that baby?” Harry laughs and the boy giggles with him and shrugs his shoulders, “You know it silly!” Someone else teases and Lindsey’s heart skips a beat when she recognizes the voice as Louis’.

 

“I’m three,” Preston laughs and then wiggles around in the seat,

 

“Okay Preston who is three, can you tell us what you have?” And Preston gives a cough.

 

“I’ve got asthma,” He wheezes and a tan hand reaches in the frame to rub at his back.

 

“Does asthma make you sick?” Harry questions

 

“Sometimes, yes, it makes me very ill! One time when I stayed over at papa’s house it made me so ill that I had to ride very far away and the doctors had to take care of me, because daddy and papa could not and they even gave me a special mask! I have angels though, right?” He asks seriously and he isn’t even focused on the camera anymore and has hopped off the chair to play with a toy train on the ground.  

 

“Yeah baby,” Harry murmurs, “You’ve got angels.” With that the song Over the Rainbow begins to play and pictures of Harry and Louis begin to pop up with various dates and captions such as, “The day I met my soulmate,” with a photo Lindsey was sure she had never seen circulate from backstage of the x-factor all the way to their wedding day and, “The day we promised forever.” Both men are laughing as Harry is smearing cake onto Louis’ cheek. Lindsey smiles. The photos turn into pictures of Louis laying in a messy bed, hair sticking out, shirt rucked up and eyes closed as he fits into the curve of Harry’s body with a soft smile and a footprint pressing just above his belly button and the caption reads, “Our first miracle,” and then pictures of the day that “Darcy Elizabeth Stylinson” is born with Harry holding her in scrubs and both of them looking dazed as they kiss the crying infants cheek.

 

Her first steps are documented, the first bloody knee, and haircut. Then pictures of Louis in a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt appear as they list varying weeks as his stomach, even larger than in the earlier photos, begin to appear as they read, “Our two in one special ;).” Then the day that both, “Patrick Steven and Preston Riley,” are born as Louis lays in a hospital bed with a dressing gown and a loopy grin as Harry presses a scrunched up nose to the side of his face. Pictures of Darcy holding both babies, and both Anne and Jay as they press both little ones in between at their first birthday party with kisses on the their cheeks appear. Then pictures of Preston in a hospital bed with a pale face and an oxygen tube in his nose, “Preston is diagnosed with severe allergic asthma. He is one and a half.”

 

More photos appear of all them on the London Eye, backstage at a Breathe Easy concert, and on family picnics appear and one with all of them laying in a circle with their heads touching in the middle reading, “We are all healthy, happy, and safe.”

 

Then Lindsey’s heart starts as pictures of a little boy in a hospital bed appear with his eyes closed and an entire face mask show up which read, “Preston has a severe asthma attack. He is in a coma for two weeks.” The screen then fades into a picture of both twins facing forward wearing matching football jerseys and their names on the backs which read, “During the night of March 23rd 2018, Preston goes into distress and he has a stroke. The doctors are unable to revive our baby.” The picture then changes to a photo of a handdrawn card with yellow stick figures on the front reading, ‘Preston’ with flowers decorating the outside of it. Lindsey pauses the video as her heart stops and she feels her eyes well up with tears. It could not be possible…Preston dead? She was sure he was in the beginning of the video. Had Harry made this before? She regains her composure some and lets the tears fall as she continues the video.

 

The caption reads, “During his final bath, Preston wiggles his toes. He opens his eyes. He is alive.” The next photo is of Preston in the same hospital bed looking tired but he is smiling as Louis holds him both of them taking on muscle man poses and sticking their tongues out at the camera and it reads, “Our most amazing miracle.” With that Harry appears back on screen this time accompanied with not only the kids but Louis too, and he says, “So I hope this helps everyone understand why I will not be on tour. Though Preston is alive and breathing, it is really important for us to go to the doctor every week for the next year to make sure that his lungs are working properly. I don’t want to leave Louis to do it all on his own.” With that said Harry turns his head to the man standing behind his hair and they share a kiss that Lindsey feels like she is intruding, letting out a gasp and another sob at the couple she had longed for so long to get together share a kiss for the first time publicly, yet laughs along when the kids scream, “Eww!” and giggle loudly. They all wave goodbye after Harry promises to begin the tour soon and Louis zooms back into the normal view as she cries loudly not hearing the front door close.

 

“L?” Kathy calls out, and petite Asian girl with thick black hair, curled loosely on the end today with ombre tips walks in. She slides her leather jacket off and quickly runs up to her friend, “What’s the matter?” She asks worriedly and Lindsey shakily lifts her shirt sleeve to revel the scars that Kathy knows are there and rubs the ink tattoo that says, ‘Bravery’ and she smiles.

 

“Just watching a miracle.”

 

_“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”_

**_―_ Frank Herbert**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :).


	8. Question Time!

Hey guys! I noticed that this story had 4,000+ views so I just wanted to stop in and say thank you so much again for anyone who has given this kudos, recc'ed this, or commented and sent it to a friend :D.

 

Since I've been finished with this particular fic I have been thinking about doing verses to it. I haven't posted anything because I wasn't sure that it would be something that people would be interested in reading but, if you are would you please comment below with your opinion on whether I should?

 

If you DO think I should, are there anything particular one-shot type stories you'd like to see? I was thinking of doing things like, the whole family at a show of Harry's or maybe Louis getting pregnant with another baby? 

 

Thanks again sooo much for the support. It really means a lot to me that people had such a positive response to this fic! <3. 

**Author's Note:**

> **The story timeline is like this: One Direction ends and Louis is 24, Harry is 22, and their children aren't born yet but Louis is pregnant with Darcy. When they break up, Louis is 28, Harry is 26, Darcy is 4, Preston and Patrick are 1. Then it's going to jump ahead two years AFTER the prologue and Louis is going to be 30, Harry is going to be 28, Darcy is going to be 6 and the twins will be 3. That way you guys kind of know the timeline of their lives!**
> 
>  
> 
> Please remember to comment or leave some kudos!


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